Freedom is my favourite song. Everything about that song clicks. The lyrics, the rhythm, and the coolest video ever: with beautiful people lip syncing, letting the singer hide, and sort of flipping the whole idea of a human body being not at all about the looks. Even the kettle boiling on the radiator. Everything clicks.
It is sad to see beautiful minds go. It is sad to realise they will never create another wonderful piece. While it was a sad late night last night for me, and thoughtful and sad day today, the youngsters made it bearable.
I was putting my darkest lipstick on this morning. In sync with my mood, and a with small mirror in one hand, the rich red wine colour in the other. This is how my mini man saw me. He came, looked and said 'let me see', pointing at the mirror. So I handed it to him. He looked at the reflection in the mirror without concern (unlike his mum did for quite some time until quite some time). After all 3 seconds of thorough examination he said 'beautiful' quietly, handed me the mirror back, and walked away. Secure and confident. No second thoughts. Beautiful indeed.
'That is the problem with being beautiful', said LMSP, now 8, few hours later, when we were watching a movie (low key and quiet approach to Xmas this year, out of necessity but turned out good; calm and peaceful but good). 'Everybody likes you. And you get a lot of attention. Which is silly. You're not nice just because you're beautiful. You're nice when you're kind. It's all about the behaviour'. While my NLP course tells me it is not necessarily true (we are much more than our behaviour), I managed to keep the 'I know better and you are wrong, missy' approach shut.
Beautiful means full of beauty. All sorts of beauty. Among other things.
And it is great to know you don't have to be old to realise that.
Written to decrease modesty, increase ability to express ideas clearly, and to proof it's ok to be both vulnerable and feisty :)
When you look for sth here
Tuesday, 27 December 2016
Saturday, 17 December 2016
Humbility, really?
There is a thin line between being modest and annoyingly shy. To the point that it is no longer sincere, rather theatrical.
Yet, I keep hearing how humble you should be when you are leading. When you are mentoring. When you are listening.
That is wrong. When you are trying to fight back your silly habit of devaluing yourself, getting advice to stay modest is the worst one can give you. Trust me, I know:)
Snails have this amazing ability to hide when things don't go their way. For as long as I remember, I was finding that feature fascinating. Starting from cosy little house carried around with them at all times, to the fact there was no unnecessary accessories (never my thing, I like pretty little things however impractical they might be, but trying to stay below the clutter level, which is not so easy sometimes:), to the fact that snails to me are this mixture of lazy self-awareness and powerful self-confidence. Time is not their enemy.
And in that sense, I feel that leaders should be taught how to be snails rather than how to be humble. To know that slowing down is good. To get rid of unnecessary gimmicks. To respect others and go their way. To feel that hiding sometimes is the best you can do. As long as it is your environment and your people you are hiding with, creating that bonding and appreciation of skills gathered in one place.
Snails are cool:)
Yet, I keep hearing how humble you should be when you are leading. When you are mentoring. When you are listening.
That is wrong. When you are trying to fight back your silly habit of devaluing yourself, getting advice to stay modest is the worst one can give you. Trust me, I know:)
Snails have this amazing ability to hide when things don't go their way. For as long as I remember, I was finding that feature fascinating. Starting from cosy little house carried around with them at all times, to the fact there was no unnecessary accessories (never my thing, I like pretty little things however impractical they might be, but trying to stay below the clutter level, which is not so easy sometimes:), to the fact that snails to me are this mixture of lazy self-awareness and powerful self-confidence. Time is not their enemy.
And in that sense, I feel that leaders should be taught how to be snails rather than how to be humble. To know that slowing down is good. To get rid of unnecessary gimmicks. To respect others and go their way. To feel that hiding sometimes is the best you can do. As long as it is your environment and your people you are hiding with, creating that bonding and appreciation of skills gathered in one place.
Snails are cool:)
Thursday, 8 December 2016
Waiting
They were all there: a group of semi-related, semi-friendly people, stuck with each other against their will at the Christmas table, keeping up appearances, pretending to be a one big happy family.
Awkward silence seemed the be the only companion for all.
Suddenly, a 4-year old Nick pointed at the window: 'Look at the moon! Can we please go and see the moon?
In an instant, that sounded like the best idea ever. Even the 85-year old Matilda went outside, not bothering to look for a pair of matching gloves.
They were all there: staring at the huge satellite, not talking, waiting for magic to happen.
And it did.
Awkward silence seemed the be the only companion for all.
Suddenly, a 4-year old Nick pointed at the window: 'Look at the moon! Can we please go and see the moon?
In an instant, that sounded like the best idea ever. Even the 85-year old Matilda went outside, not bothering to look for a pair of matching gloves.
They were all there: staring at the huge satellite, not talking, waiting for magic to happen.
And it did.
Thursday, 1 December 2016
Change is the only constant
So why am I so afraid of it? When does the fear stop? Does it ever?
Last evening the sky looked like if some promising impressionist laddered herself :) up and splashed a perfect combination of blue, purple, and pink right above. Amazing. And it made me think how colours differ from one minute to another. And we don't really see that unless we stop and look up.
We have been looking up a lot, lately, my kids and I. Which is a good thing. The best, really. It makes all of us think about what we are doing here, why are we here. Even the little one seems to be in the thoughtful mood sometimes, provided that there is a secured supply of chocolate cookies available at short distance and in no time.
They say when you love someone, you should invest in your feelings, or the love will stop, and bitterness will come instead. And I guess that is true no matter who your loved one is. While we still fight from time to time, while we are in the process of constant learning about each others, while the neighbour sends us polite letters informing he can indeed hear little feet thumping from as early as 'six am in the morning' (the double effect there shows how truly disturbing they feel, and rightly so...), in the middle of all of this we are constantly changing, growing, and improving (or this is just my inaccurate version of the real things happening, but that is another story - who can truly say one's version is the real one anyway).
So there is no need to fear. Unless you are that guy from Amelie who could crack into pieces the minute he would let go of any of his hundreds of pillows installed on every possible corner of every single piece of furniture, equipment, and tool available in his flat. I hope and wish you are not.
Last evening the sky looked like if some promising impressionist laddered herself :) up and splashed a perfect combination of blue, purple, and pink right above. Amazing. And it made me think how colours differ from one minute to another. And we don't really see that unless we stop and look up.
We have been looking up a lot, lately, my kids and I. Which is a good thing. The best, really. It makes all of us think about what we are doing here, why are we here. Even the little one seems to be in the thoughtful mood sometimes, provided that there is a secured supply of chocolate cookies available at short distance and in no time.
They say when you love someone, you should invest in your feelings, or the love will stop, and bitterness will come instead. And I guess that is true no matter who your loved one is. While we still fight from time to time, while we are in the process of constant learning about each others, while the neighbour sends us polite letters informing he can indeed hear little feet thumping from as early as 'six am in the morning' (the double effect there shows how truly disturbing they feel, and rightly so...), in the middle of all of this we are constantly changing, growing, and improving (or this is just my inaccurate version of the real things happening, but that is another story - who can truly say one's version is the real one anyway).
So there is no need to fear. Unless you are that guy from Amelie who could crack into pieces the minute he would let go of any of his hundreds of pillows installed on every possible corner of every single piece of furniture, equipment, and tool available in his flat. I hope and wish you are not.
Wednesday, 30 November 2016
21 + 6
Apparently, that is the lucky number. This is how many times we will be spreading love, joy, smiles, and hopefully 'awww' moments around Xmas time this year. This is the amount of stamps a kind post office assistant will put on the cards this year, asking me kindly how I've been, and equally kindly calling me darling (this is that casual darling people say that means nothing more than 'hey, I recognise you, you're here often'; still it's nice of them)...
Is it too little? Is it perhaps too much?
If you think about the number of times we have been packing things up, it's probably brilliant. One of the greatest way of de-cluttering the place you live in is to move out; if it happens to be in another country, the better for you.
If you think about the number of times I failed to stay in touch with friends, like real friends, its pathetic.
But that is how things are. Sometimes it is better to leave them as they are. However important it is to keep relationships, nourish them, and cherish them, sending a seasonal card once a year won't help. It may in fact annoy the recipient: not her again, what does she want from me, and so on.
While the most crucial person in the world to me should always be, you guessed it, me:), the following question is when I am closest to happiness. In other words, what would I like to have happen (:))) Is it when I am drowning in my own thoughts, on my own, hopefully with a book (hey, that doesn't sound so bad:). Or is it rather when there is another human being who is willing to (dis)agree with me on any subject, from tree lights to the next step in my ever glowing (hehe) career path...
I guess this is the question anybody should ask themselves. When they are on their own, actually. In their own thoughts. With a book nearby, to act as a reward when the answer is found, cherished, and nourished. Right before the call ones make to a friend of theirs. To discuss the tree lights, for example...
Is it too little? Is it perhaps too much?
If you think about the number of times we have been packing things up, it's probably brilliant. One of the greatest way of de-cluttering the place you live in is to move out; if it happens to be in another country, the better for you.
If you think about the number of times I failed to stay in touch with friends, like real friends, its pathetic.
But that is how things are. Sometimes it is better to leave them as they are. However important it is to keep relationships, nourish them, and cherish them, sending a seasonal card once a year won't help. It may in fact annoy the recipient: not her again, what does she want from me, and so on.
While the most crucial person in the world to me should always be, you guessed it, me:), the following question is when I am closest to happiness. In other words, what would I like to have happen (:))) Is it when I am drowning in my own thoughts, on my own, hopefully with a book (hey, that doesn't sound so bad:). Or is it rather when there is another human being who is willing to (dis)agree with me on any subject, from tree lights to the next step in my ever glowing (hehe) career path...
I guess this is the question anybody should ask themselves. When they are on their own, actually. In their own thoughts. With a book nearby, to act as a reward when the answer is found, cherished, and nourished. Right before the call ones make to a friend of theirs. To discuss the tree lights, for example...
Saturday, 12 November 2016
77 minutes
Not so typical Saturday evening.
Sitting in a sort of a bar waiting for a concert to start.
77 minutes. I've been waiting here for 77 minutes. Apparently, it's that magical amount of time one needs to wind out, chillax, as my friend advises me on an almost regular basis, and just cherish the moment.
No stress, no trouble, no issues.
Just sitting back, letting the thoughts pass.
A large glass of red wine definitely helps.
And, I just realised last time I was sitting in a sort of a bar on my own, waiting for a concert to start, feeling completely at ease with myself was never.
There's a first time for everything.
Glad this very time is now.
Sitting in a sort of a bar waiting for a concert to start.
77 minutes. I've been waiting here for 77 minutes. Apparently, it's that magical amount of time one needs to wind out, chillax, as my friend advises me on an almost regular basis, and just cherish the moment.
No stress, no trouble, no issues.
Just sitting back, letting the thoughts pass.
A large glass of red wine definitely helps.
And, I just realised last time I was sitting in a sort of a bar on my own, waiting for a concert to start, feeling completely at ease with myself was never.
There's a first time for everything.
Glad this very time is now.
Thursday, 3 November 2016
Not yet broken
Everything seems to be wrong these days. Not in sync with the vibe I am desperately trying to create and stay tuned with. Which is probably the reason why right is beyond reach. Trying too hard but putting little heart or effort into actions, ironically.
Being a not so horrible parent is more challenging than ever. Writing, ha, when was the last time I did that? Ages ago. To the point that FB tells me I haven't posted in XX days... Even baking. All is not enough.
While it would be of benefit to break things down and get to the source of all this misery, looks like that same old tempting I'm miserable tell me I'm great or I will drawn us all in tears approach is winning. Not helpful. Short-sighted. Pathetic.
There are people out there who would give anything for my 'problems', if only they could see the world again. Or walk again. Or be able to have a child on their own. Or live each day without a constant fear something, or someone is going to kill them.
They say attitude is everything. Look beyond yourself, don't be so selfish, they say. Stick to the positive.
Appreciate that. We are all changing so staying in any state for too long is never a good thing. But being nothing then positive is equally unnatural. One can't be constantly happy unless they are on something. And I would assume even then the body adjusts, so after a while that something is not enough.
Maybe that is exactly what should be driving anyone. Not enough. Rather than sticking to 'not', or to 'enough', one might just acknowledge not enough is fine when noticed. And try to move on.
Being a not so horrible parent is more challenging than ever. Writing, ha, when was the last time I did that? Ages ago. To the point that FB tells me I haven't posted in XX days... Even baking. All is not enough.
While it would be of benefit to break things down and get to the source of all this misery, looks like that same old tempting I'm miserable tell me I'm great or I will drawn us all in tears approach is winning. Not helpful. Short-sighted. Pathetic.
There are people out there who would give anything for my 'problems', if only they could see the world again. Or walk again. Or be able to have a child on their own. Or live each day without a constant fear something, or someone is going to kill them.
They say attitude is everything. Look beyond yourself, don't be so selfish, they say. Stick to the positive.
Appreciate that. We are all changing so staying in any state for too long is never a good thing. But being nothing then positive is equally unnatural. One can't be constantly happy unless they are on something. And I would assume even then the body adjusts, so after a while that something is not enough.
Maybe that is exactly what should be driving anyone. Not enough. Rather than sticking to 'not', or to 'enough', one might just acknowledge not enough is fine when noticed. And try to move on.
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