5:47
I wake up. Usually I don't do this. The kids usually wake up at night, the older one from time to time, when something tremendous happens during the day... The younger one pretty regularly, to transfer from his cot to our family bundle-sleep-heaven.
I think about life. How appropriate;)
6:00
No way I will fall asleep again. Getting up and leaving all peacefully asleep is surprisingly uplifting, both literally and, well... not
6:07
I am almost ready to think through my lifetime plans owhen the young one wakes up.
Calling that whole philosophical approach off.
Nappy change is a real wake up call.
Life is pretty, and you only get to this conclusion once in a good while.
Written to decrease modesty, increase ability to express ideas clearly, and to proof it's ok to be both vulnerable and feisty :)
When you look for sth here
Thursday, 25 September 2014
Monday, 22 September 2014
The world is ours
This weekend was extremely hectic.
Saturday resulted in yet another approach to interpret the Funny Bones cartoon Zosia has been studying at school lately.
(Last weekend we went to the London Museum of Zoology, to see the bones, and skeletons of various species, including our pretty successful attempt to reconstruct a gorilla out of a stack of small and large pieces of, well, bones. Quite exciting actually. All were happy to touch skin of a huge snake, see how a hedgehog can protect itself, look at bat's beautiful wings, oh, and meet a scarab. Or its scaringly authentic model...)
Meaning, we got ourselves tired, viewing houses and apps, wandering around surrounding parks, visiting local McD's (as you do when you promote a healthy and balance lifestyle for you and your family, 'cause it's easy, affordable, and simply and long-term: the best), and checking how sturdy a floor in each of bedrooms available to view might be (that's our mini-man; for now it looks like he will make a career in tapping ... and I mean dancing, not playing the guitar)
The air was soo much better, without the usual smog welcoming us pretty every day from the Thames.
Sunday, in turn, revealed another consequence of the previous day's endeavour: a hoarse voice of the youngest among us. Meaning, we stayed at home most of the time, looking forward to the final match. Which was a great thing to watch, and even better to celebrate afterwards.
:)))
Saturday resulted in yet another approach to interpret the Funny Bones cartoon Zosia has been studying at school lately.
(Last weekend we went to the London Museum of Zoology, to see the bones, and skeletons of various species, including our pretty successful attempt to reconstruct a gorilla out of a stack of small and large pieces of, well, bones. Quite exciting actually. All were happy to touch skin of a huge snake, see how a hedgehog can protect itself, look at bat's beautiful wings, oh, and meet a scarab. Or its scaringly authentic model...)
Meaning, we got ourselves tired, viewing houses and apps, wandering around surrounding parks, visiting local McD's (as you do when you promote a healthy and balance lifestyle for you and your family, 'cause it's easy, affordable, and simply and long-term: the best), and checking how sturdy a floor in each of bedrooms available to view might be (that's our mini-man; for now it looks like he will make a career in tapping ... and I mean dancing, not playing the guitar)
The air was soo much better, without the usual smog welcoming us pretty every day from the Thames.
Sunday, in turn, revealed another consequence of the previous day's endeavour: a hoarse voice of the youngest among us. Meaning, we stayed at home most of the time, looking forward to the final match. Which was a great thing to watch, and even better to celebrate afterwards.
:)))
Thursday, 18 September 2014
Ha! ;)))
After 10 years he finally admitted he actually thinks I'm right saying its important how you say things, not just what you say
Sooo many discussions about importance of content over its form, now a complete waste of time
Sooo many discussions about importance of content over its form, now a complete waste of time
(Over?)load with news
One morning, we had a serious discussion about news. By some it might even be understood as a cut-throat quarrel. There seemed to be no tolerance to my hunger for news.
I have only recently realised that up until recently I was one of them: totally controllable rep of masses.
Now I am one of those who sense conspiracy against us all. That includes, and does not limit to, chemtrails.
When my phone buzzes letting me know there's an email in my inbox I have not yet read, I don't go frantic about it. Does it mean I'm indeed beyond? If so, why can't I turn the sounds off? ...
A sense of solitude, my universe narrowed down to morning routine on our way to the primary school, and hastened trips to collect, with some days of total void in between... Enough self-pity. There's over 5k mums like you, at least Polish mums in the UK sharing their frustrations, issues and ideas on FB...
Would I be the same without kids? Would I be better-off? Would I wear wool bluebonnet (how appropriate, especially today...) and visit church as often as my bathroom? Would I wander around, visiting countries, exploring mountains, becoming quite an apty climber?
I just had a beer. Too many thoughts in one glass. Not having another though. I'm a mum:)
I have only recently realised that up until recently I was one of them: totally controllable rep of masses.
Now I am one of those who sense conspiracy against us all. That includes, and does not limit to, chemtrails.
When my phone buzzes letting me know there's an email in my inbox I have not yet read, I don't go frantic about it. Does it mean I'm indeed beyond? If so, why can't I turn the sounds off? ...
A sense of solitude, my universe narrowed down to morning routine on our way to the primary school, and hastened trips to collect, with some days of total void in between... Enough self-pity. There's over 5k mums like you, at least Polish mums in the UK sharing their frustrations, issues and ideas on FB...
Would I be the same without kids? Would I be better-off? Would I wear wool bluebonnet (how appropriate, especially today...) and visit church as often as my bathroom? Would I wander around, visiting countries, exploring mountains, becoming quite an apty climber?
I just had a beer. Too many thoughts in one glass. Not having another though. I'm a mum:)
Tuesday, 26 August 2014
Planning
I hate it. And I know how ridiculous that approach is; a mum with 2 children should be flawless in planning things. I am definitely not.
At the same time however, I love organising and preparing daily, or even weekly activities for my kids. It's beyond a week that frightens me, and freezes my super planning powers. It's a plan for me, and my life, that doesn't seem to exist.
Not true. I know exactly what I would like to do. I am just too scared to face that. And to follow my so-called dream.
However, recently I have been feeding myself with motivational speeches from the likes of Brian Tracy, Kyle Cease, and my husband;) to overcome that hidiously inappropriate shyness.
Technically, once you have exposed yourself more than once to complete strangers, you shouldn't feel ashamed of yourself. I refer here not only to the fact of giving birth to a child in a fleshy hospital environment; there is actually quite a significant history of me speaking in public. And being - surprisingly often - listened to. That, in short, should make me feel more self-aware, and let me look bright into the future I want to create for me and my closest ones.
It seems to be harder than I could ever imagine. While I am good in listening to others, express my empathy, and even provide a piece of advice here and there, which usually makes my day when feeling down;), I somehow struggle to give and follow a piece of advice myself.
Hm. Somehow my post on planning shifted to a pitiful attempt of a life analysis, provided by a psychologist I have never been... ;)))
At the same time however, I love organising and preparing daily, or even weekly activities for my kids. It's beyond a week that frightens me, and freezes my super planning powers. It's a plan for me, and my life, that doesn't seem to exist.
Not true. I know exactly what I would like to do. I am just too scared to face that. And to follow my so-called dream.
However, recently I have been feeding myself with motivational speeches from the likes of Brian Tracy, Kyle Cease, and my husband;) to overcome that hidiously inappropriate shyness.
Technically, once you have exposed yourself more than once to complete strangers, you shouldn't feel ashamed of yourself. I refer here not only to the fact of giving birth to a child in a fleshy hospital environment; there is actually quite a significant history of me speaking in public. And being - surprisingly often - listened to. That, in short, should make me feel more self-aware, and let me look bright into the future I want to create for me and my closest ones.
It seems to be harder than I could ever imagine. While I am good in listening to others, express my empathy, and even provide a piece of advice here and there, which usually makes my day when feeling down;), I somehow struggle to give and follow a piece of advice myself.
Hm. Somehow my post on planning shifted to a pitiful attempt of a life analysis, provided by a psychologist I have never been... ;)))
Sunday, 24 August 2014
10 days of silence
It's been ten days since my last writing experience;)
10 days of sun and run, warmth and laughter, exploration of grass, fruits and butterflies.
Quite an exciting time for my mini-man; quite an interesting time for my nearly 6-year old girl.
To me, it was all about talking with my parents, understanding where exactly we are in terms of settling down, recharging batteries for a busy autumn time, which is right around the corner. And eating;)))
While we are still bumping at each other sometimes, and talking harsh sometimes, it is good to have little ones around. They help to keep calm, ironically. And it's actually interesting to see how they change each day, both developing the smarts while bonding with their grandparents...
I still have trouble identifying exactly how I would like to spend the rest of my life, which is both pathetic and lazy, let's face it. But the ideas floating in my head are getting clearer every day, which is a little bit comforting.
I just wish I had the ability to keep in touch with my colleagues and friends I used to hang out with in different stages of my life, including studies, and first work... It's still too difficult for me to drop an e-mail once or twice a week. Again, pathetic and lazy ...
But I also realized - finally - that feeling and enjoying self-pity is most pathetic of all.
We really only have one lifetime to deal with all our doubts, emotions, feelings and words we inhale during every moment of our lives.
All this energy, previously used for keeping oneself low and expecting others to cheer one up all the time, may then be used for laughing together, talking together, quarreling together, and making up.
10 days of sun and run, warmth and laughter, exploration of grass, fruits and butterflies.
Quite an exciting time for my mini-man; quite an interesting time for my nearly 6-year old girl.
To me, it was all about talking with my parents, understanding where exactly we are in terms of settling down, recharging batteries for a busy autumn time, which is right around the corner. And eating;)))
While we are still bumping at each other sometimes, and talking harsh sometimes, it is good to have little ones around. They help to keep calm, ironically. And it's actually interesting to see how they change each day, both developing the smarts while bonding with their grandparents...
I still have trouble identifying exactly how I would like to spend the rest of my life, which is both pathetic and lazy, let's face it. But the ideas floating in my head are getting clearer every day, which is a little bit comforting.
I just wish I had the ability to keep in touch with my colleagues and friends I used to hang out with in different stages of my life, including studies, and first work... It's still too difficult for me to drop an e-mail once or twice a week. Again, pathetic and lazy ...
But I also realized - finally - that feeling and enjoying self-pity is most pathetic of all.
We really only have one lifetime to deal with all our doubts, emotions, feelings and words we inhale during every moment of our lives.
All this energy, previously used for keeping oneself low and expecting others to cheer one up all the time, may then be used for laughing together, talking together, quarreling together, and making up.
Thursday, 14 August 2014
The most difficult thing in parenthood?
There is no one definite answer.
Wrong. There may be infinite amount (;) of replies, but there should be one definite answer, thought over by each and every parent. It makes life easier to have that answer handy, somewhere at the back of your mind, available to pop up when needed.
It helped me recently. A lot.
I realised that for me it is my need to control, necessity to be in charge of my little ones' existence to the level that an average perfectionist would find an overkill. In short, I find it particularly hard to let go and set them free.
It was surprisingly uplifting, having realised that.
It helped me to organise my everyday life better. It helped my little ones in their development. It gave me and my daughter so many more topics to discuss.
Being with my parents recently helped here, again surprisingly ;) having multi-dimentional and sometimes contrary relationship with them used to make me more feisty, less vulnerable with them. I used to be the one who was always able to do things, being perfectly organised, thoughtful and caring.
Only now we seem to be getting over it, and seeing each others more sincerely.
Having children on your own defitely helps. Being more at ease with everything definitely helps. Knowing your inner strength, different from the one related to parenthood definitely helps.
What took me so long? ;)))
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