When was the last time...

... You did something for the first time?

I read it somewhere (ok, it was on Facebook), and it struck me. It painfully showed me how predictable and boring my life has recently become. That is, in the last six years, or so. While it should be one of the most unique and precious, and memorable experiences of my life, the motherhood suddenly formed into plain, non-adventurous short-term planned existence, with nappies, tantrums, and truly exiting visits to playgrounds at the centre of attention.
I might have exaggerated a bit right now, showing only one side of the story (omitting the emotions, the moments, the spontaneous loveyoumummy words, the joy and laughter). The purpose though was to wake me up a bit, and try identifying again who I am. Who all of the mothers are when they are no longer on their own, having another human being in charge of them. Although, technically, and legally, it's the other way round.
I guess we tend to forget our true inner me when we are snowed under everyday stuff. I guess that's the reason why all the meditation, yoga (which I love, by the way), and relaxation techniques became so popular. But the thing is, none of these is needed. All you need is 5 minutes a day to stop. And think. Who you are. Where you're going with your life. What was nice that happen to you today. What made you sad. How can you work around those happy moments to live better tomorrow.
No need for 25-year success story planned in details to define you (even when such long-term perspective can improve your everyday life, as you stay focus on what you really want to do).

Funny how those cliche discoveries come to me now. Better later than never, I guess (and I have a suspicious feeling that last quote came to me several times here already:).

What is in a name

'What is in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet'
Shakespeare.
The guy who probably never really existed (the are many claiming the opposite, my secondary school literature teacher included), yet so many versatile quotes floating around for the last 500 years, or so.

Recently I noticed the overwhelming popularity of twisted names.
A rose is no longer the rose, there is some multi-petal delicately scented flower representative available instead. I mean, are there any sellers left out there, or have they all been successfully swollen by shop attendants, retail assistants, or - in extreme cases - partners (apologies, Waitrose)? What about janitors, or caretakers? There are Site Managers now serving the dwellers, or the Concierge Representatives doing exactly the same work but for a title ranking high to the stars.

I have absolutely nothing against anybody working, quite envy in a way; in fact I respect and value all who have enough guts, will and motivation to work rather than put the lame 'I'm in need for some cash' sign and sit. It's just funny to see how the descriptive name of a job evaluated to another level, sometimes next to an absurd, or a ridiculous one. All in the name of appearing more important without the need of actually showing the importance of your actions. All in the name of time passing by, and necessity to instantly prove something.


Therefore I have become a respectful and graceful childcare provider (don't you dare calling me a minder!:) for my small gang of two. Which usually feels like 6. But that's another story...

Demotivational week

It's been a long week away from posting. Half-term, and nothing more needed to be said:)
However, I turned away from my usual, occasionally emerging ability to identify useful ways of spending time with my precious ones.
I finally become lazy, and I am not afraid to admit it, for once.
Therefore, the past week was a pure definition of staying-in, laying-in, watching cartoons, playing games, becoming almost friends (acquaintances, at least) with several members of staff at local McDonald's, going for a walk, or two (only when a balcony with bubbles was not enough, or when there was an urgent need for waffles as an extremely healthy tea option).
Surprisingly to me, that totally laid back approach totally worked in a sense of bonding, and limiting agony of being somewhere on time, despite a flock of ducks passing by down the river, becoming absolutely wonderful and worth looking at for ages.
This week, we were the starers. And we really enjoyed it.

And I think I underestimated the power of doing nothing up until now. And discovering that at the age of 37 was somehow refreshing. And yes, it might be devastating for my foreseeable future when becoming a habit. Do I care? Not as much as I used to. I know it won't, so why bother?

You gave your best shot ...

... And that's important - we read in the Chinese myth about the Great Race which formed the calendar, from Rat to Pig. I guess today it is rarely the case to hear that, unless you're involved into your 6-year old school achievements, and want to encourage her, not frighten.

I finally understood why they called it a rat race. Over-ambitious, frightening, heart-weakening, pointless really, and missing the point of any joy in life. The Rat in the myth decided to push his up-till-then best friend, Cat, from the Ox's back to make sure he, not anyone else, is first. Why? To be the first in the 12-year cycle?

I guess we miss the point too often nowadays. Looks like it all started 'several moons ago'...

(Looks like I'm really bouncing back to youth at an accelerated rate. Not just because I got into the body shop new beauty routine. Rather due to child-centered literature I dig into these days...)

Brainstorming ideas and beyond in brief

It's nearly 2am, an insane hour when my Mini-Man would usually request a hug, but for some mysterious reason this is not the case this time.

I'm buying a silver metal wine bottle stopper at some 'non European' eBay shop. Doesn't sound like a reasonable 35+ mother of 2, actually coincidently a 35+2, does it?;)))

Oh, and my hair went crazy. 'What did you do to your hair; I've never seen them so ... curly;)?' - 'Well, I washed them, and used some decent sensitive scalp mask/conditioner , which appears to have a surprise-gift side-effect' ...

And I am seriously thinking of organising a book club for mums. It might be a virtual one, but a real occasional meet-up would be nice. 


This is what a sucked-into-'toddlership'-lifestyle can do to you.

Knowing and understanding

Recently my SuperHeroGirl explained to me the difference between knowing and understanding things. It found that truly fascinating; first of all, realising she sees the difference; second, realising she is able to explain it in clear and simple way; third and final, realising she is not a baby anymore...

Now I know that if something is a fact, mum, there is nothing to understand. You either know, usually because I tell you, or not. And when I explain something to you, well, then you can understand, or not.

I have a vague idea of who I was when I was six. I recall I loved hiding underneath a coffee table, so that my grandpa couldn't see me, and I would shout that I was there after he looked for me around the house (yes, that was not one of my reasonable approaches to him and his health, but what can I say, I was six...). And that joy in hiding is something me and my daughter seem to share. But I don't recall having that deep examination of words, phrases, and attempts to define expressions and emotions properly. I guess we may call it a side-effect of English being our second language.

Still, it is fascinating...

Let's hit the road again

No, no, we're not moving again; not that I'm aware of, at least.
Last Saturday we went to see the collection of mini-buses, all dressed-up, at the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, conveniently located just outside the Westfield shopping centre in Stratford.
We all enjoyed it, although the trip took longer than expected, with rail replacement service in place. Still, we got there safely.

It was veeery cold by the time we got there on a mid-afternoon. But that did not stop us from exploring the funny little buses collection. There was a real bus model on display, this one could be climbed on with no limits, which both of my children enjoyed enormously. How exciting a bus can be?!:) apparently there is something super interesting in hoping into one, even when we use buses nearly every day, on our way to school.

It made me think, how much effort is sometimes put into new toys, new playgroup activities, new places to join, new dance classes to attend. Meanwhile, all you need, sometimes again, is a little bit of effort to get outside, have a walk, and see what is out there. Just that. Oh, and also, to make sure you have a place secured where you can warm yourself up after that freezing walk. Like we did. It made me all smiles to see my mini-man, sitting happily, and actually sitting ;) in a cosy armchair, with my SuperHeroGirl, waving her legs on the opposite recliner, totally at ease with herself. They actually managed not to get angry with each other for, well, nearly 20 minutes, which puts our new world record on the let's be nice to each other 2015 chart (there is no such thing as of yet, but I'm more and more often thinking of getting one...), probably thanks to tasty shortbread and scones, and quite a large table between them...;)