Apparently, it's a magical number. To me.
I had a brief look at what I've been posting here so far.
Overwhelming majority of entries - 90% of them - focuses on me:), and - what's worse;) - the trend is a significantly upward one...
Usually it's about everyday stuff, with 10-15% dedicated to less shallow thoughts.
Nothing shows the above mentioned magic.
But I know what's happening now is crucial.
I wish I was more sophisticated, showing better taste in music, or in literature (some say crime and mystery is an evidence of cruelty one hopes to have some day).
But I am who I am. As far as shame from my actions and thoughts come, it's less than ever.
Not perfect either. But I'm old enough to know this is true to anyone.
All I know is emotions tend to take over, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.
But are never, ever a mistake.
Written to decrease modesty, increase ability to express ideas clearly, and to proof it's ok to be both vulnerable and feisty :)
When you look for sth here
Friday, 30 October 2015
Thursday, 29 October 2015
Full moon celebration
Once, I had the best full moon celebration ever.
No, actually, when I think of it, few tweaks could probably make it a little bit better. But, since I am on a non-complaint challenge, and cannot switch my wristband from one hand to another while writing, will not moan. Unless... No :)
Happy moments.
Life is short. Enjoy it. Collect happy moments. These may stay with you for longer. Memories last. And help you when you're down.
Don't miss that.
No, actually, when I think of it, few tweaks could probably make it a little bit better. But, since I am on a non-complaint challenge, and cannot switch my wristband from one hand to another while writing, will not moan. Unless... No :)
Happy moments.
Life is short. Enjoy it. Collect happy moments. These may stay with you for longer. Memories last. And help you when you're down.
Don't miss that.
Wednesday, 28 October 2015
On the road again
Memories seem to be hitting me again.
It's been years, literally years since I was on a train to Warsaw. This is beyond belief how life can make its turn. Almost like a full cycle.
All is the same. Yet nothing is.
Wrinkles, for example. Now they're here.
I do have specific approach to wrinkles though. I cherish them as they show the character of a person better then words. Sometimes even better then body language (especially when someone has done proper training on how to speak in public, how to hide own emotions, how to control excessive moves). I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but yes, clean and pure, and very young face is nice, I agree. But it somehow lacks authenticity of an experienced one. If you look closely, you may notice whether someone prefers to laugh, or to be frowned on something. Whether they turn their face away from new things, or are easily amazed with new things. Finally, are they decent, or are they mean. That last one might be a little bit of an exaggeration, I know. But it's usually true.
To the benefit of me:)
As far as Warsaw, the city, is concerned: it's still standing. It's still a form of retail celebration, and consumerism in its pure form. However, if you look at the main streets, outside of few shopping centers and several boutiques, it's PCB: pharmacies, charity shops, and banks. Looks like there are two main waves in the city: people spending as much as they can, and beyond (the 'beauty' of a credit card), and people suffering from chronic illnesses, buying used clothes, and managing their limited funds, not spent elsewhere. Sad but true. (Changing hand for my 'no-complaints challenge' wristband right now.)
It's been years, literally years since I was on a train to Warsaw. This is beyond belief how life can make its turn. Almost like a full cycle.
All is the same. Yet nothing is.
Wrinkles, for example. Now they're here.
I do have specific approach to wrinkles though. I cherish them as they show the character of a person better then words. Sometimes even better then body language (especially when someone has done proper training on how to speak in public, how to hide own emotions, how to control excessive moves). I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but yes, clean and pure, and very young face is nice, I agree. But it somehow lacks authenticity of an experienced one. If you look closely, you may notice whether someone prefers to laugh, or to be frowned on something. Whether they turn their face away from new things, or are easily amazed with new things. Finally, are they decent, or are they mean. That last one might be a little bit of an exaggeration, I know. But it's usually true.
To the benefit of me:)
As far as Warsaw, the city, is concerned: it's still standing. It's still a form of retail celebration, and consumerism in its pure form. However, if you look at the main streets, outside of few shopping centers and several boutiques, it's PCB: pharmacies, charity shops, and banks. Looks like there are two main waves in the city: people spending as much as they can, and beyond (the 'beauty' of a credit card), and people suffering from chronic illnesses, buying used clothes, and managing their limited funds, not spent elsewhere. Sad but true. (Changing hand for my 'no-complaints challenge' wristband right now.)
Sunday, 25 October 2015
Respect and expect
While it was so much about me lately (I know...), the parenthood is still on the agenda.
I don't think it will ever be wiped off, truly.
Even though it does bring duties, and things to consider - while planning possible out and about for example - it is truly one of the most multi-layered, and colourful experiences a human being may have.
I sometimes wonder what have I been doing with all that time previously available, now focused on my Runner, and his older SuperSpider partner in crime.
Then again, I kind of manage to have some me-time, more than ever now, and to the detriment of others, now focused on the gang. But hey, you need to be selfish to live.
There's only one life.
I recently came up with this ideal 'raise your child in a nutshell' program.
And for me, it consists of three important steps:
Let go - I mentioned it several times already; leaving space to learn, make mistakes and grow out of them is crucial; obviously it is usually the second child, and third who gets these benefits - the first one is cocooned, cherished to the extreme, and needs to have much more strong will (stubbornness, for short) to let herself out and go.
Respect - now, that is part of the previous one, in a way, but it gets deeper; it goes down to waiting and explaining. Waiting for your little one to catchup, and letting him do it on his own, in his own pace. Explaining when necessary, yes, several times usually, not loosing patience (ekhm...), and talking.
Out of talking comes the love (as Amanda Price one said, main female character in the movie Lost in Austen; and I couldn't agree more).
Expect - that's the trickiest part. You put yourself in a position of the one who plans and leads the way. Now, not to turn yourself into an all-mighty goddess, despit and tyrant is just one of the threats here. To be understood, and to express your way clearly and firmly, that is the greatest challenge, for me at least.
Since I talk so much, I blur the image, and it is difficult to get any sense out of what I am actually trying to say. That applies to all, not only children, who - in fact - get to the core much quicker, not having so many assumptions and shortcuts created by previous observations in place. But it relates to respecting: if you're good there, you fly in leading.
It's as simple as that.
It's as difficult as one can imagine.
I don't think it will ever be wiped off, truly.
Even though it does bring duties, and things to consider - while planning possible out and about for example - it is truly one of the most multi-layered, and colourful experiences a human being may have.
I sometimes wonder what have I been doing with all that time previously available, now focused on my Runner, and his older SuperSpider partner in crime.
Then again, I kind of manage to have some me-time, more than ever now, and to the detriment of others, now focused on the gang. But hey, you need to be selfish to live.
There's only one life.
I recently came up with this ideal 'raise your child in a nutshell' program.
And for me, it consists of three important steps:
Let go - I mentioned it several times already; leaving space to learn, make mistakes and grow out of them is crucial; obviously it is usually the second child, and third who gets these benefits - the first one is cocooned, cherished to the extreme, and needs to have much more strong will (stubbornness, for short) to let herself out and go.
Respect - now, that is part of the previous one, in a way, but it gets deeper; it goes down to waiting and explaining. Waiting for your little one to catchup, and letting him do it on his own, in his own pace. Explaining when necessary, yes, several times usually, not loosing patience (ekhm...), and talking.
Out of talking comes the love (as Amanda Price one said, main female character in the movie Lost in Austen; and I couldn't agree more).
Expect - that's the trickiest part. You put yourself in a position of the one who plans and leads the way. Now, not to turn yourself into an all-mighty goddess, despit and tyrant is just one of the threats here. To be understood, and to express your way clearly and firmly, that is the greatest challenge, for me at least.
Since I talk so much, I blur the image, and it is difficult to get any sense out of what I am actually trying to say. That applies to all, not only children, who - in fact - get to the core much quicker, not having so many assumptions and shortcuts created by previous observations in place. But it relates to respecting: if you're good there, you fly in leading.
It's as simple as that.
It's as difficult as one can imagine.
Friday, 23 October 2015
Stretching - Hallo and Death
And all of the sudden, Halloween is here a week before.
Everyone, literally everyone is already discussing dressing up, makeup, nail art, party tips, and coctail recipes.
While I appreciate the efforts taken (and part of me envies those who have time and energy to put it all together, not to mention people to be invited at...), I feel this irritation you can only understand when you see an elf, a Santa, and a reindeer in August. Already on their way with their Hohohohos, and presents, packed neatly - all artificial, none of that natural.
For some, 1st November is a day to remember those who are gone, who used to be with us, but didn't make until this year. They are with us whenever we remember them, and sometimes we can almost feel their presence - if the attachment was serious, or imagination triggers off.
This is real, yet not tangible.
I wish they didn't make a show out of it, with rushes through cemeteries, people falling over themselves to install over complicated structures out of candles, and flowers - again, most of these artificial, none of that natural...
And for sure, there's going to be another police action to stay safe, focused on millions of people driving like crazy across the country to get on time for yet another heartless celebration of gossiping, show-offs, and quick cleaning of tombs. All in the light of safety.
They always call it 'Votive Candle', that action - at least that's the case for Poland.
I always felt a need to rename it, to something more appropriate.
'Organ donors and swaggers gathering - yet again', for example...
Everyone, literally everyone is already discussing dressing up, makeup, nail art, party tips, and coctail recipes.
While I appreciate the efforts taken (and part of me envies those who have time and energy to put it all together, not to mention people to be invited at...), I feel this irritation you can only understand when you see an elf, a Santa, and a reindeer in August. Already on their way with their Hohohohos, and presents, packed neatly - all artificial, none of that natural.
For some, 1st November is a day to remember those who are gone, who used to be with us, but didn't make until this year. They are with us whenever we remember them, and sometimes we can almost feel their presence - if the attachment was serious, or imagination triggers off.
This is real, yet not tangible.
I wish they didn't make a show out of it, with rushes through cemeteries, people falling over themselves to install over complicated structures out of candles, and flowers - again, most of these artificial, none of that natural...
And for sure, there's going to be another police action to stay safe, focused on millions of people driving like crazy across the country to get on time for yet another heartless celebration of gossiping, show-offs, and quick cleaning of tombs. All in the light of safety.
They always call it 'Votive Candle', that action - at least that's the case for Poland.
I always felt a need to rename it, to something more appropriate.
'Organ donors and swaggers gathering - yet again', for example...
Thursday, 22 October 2015
Talking shield
Talking is my shield.
I usually pull out my otherwise dormant bubbly side of me when in danger.
Never really realised that though until recently.
Nothing unusual; many people start talking a lot - and let's face it, it's usually nonsense, and let's face it again, I'm not beyond norm here either - when they feel something is not quite right. Or when they're under stress.
Which is why when I am not so much afraid anymore, I fell into silence.
Haha, well, not complete silence, that wouldn't be me :)
But I limit talking, and pull out listening (finally!)
Now, thanks to one of few real friends*) I have I'm listening to Vinyl Cafe podcasts.
And it's both relaxing, and rediscovering.
One of their latest episodes is focused on the power of the untold.
Something I will probably never master, but keep on reaching for, nonetheless.
*) some may know the type, and if they do, they're really lucky:) it's the person you're blissfully unaware of, or pretend to be, since you're so busy and involved in so many things in your life, that you just don't call, don't email, don't message for months. Literally months.
And yet, when you finally realize last time you met, or spoke, was August last year, not August few months back... You email.
And they email you back like if nothing happen. And they're not angry, or irritated (or they're great at acting:)
And (how sophisticated my language has become...) when I really think of it, they are my only real friend. Sad and happy at the same time:) ...
I usually pull out my otherwise dormant bubbly side of me when in danger.
Never really realised that though until recently.
Nothing unusual; many people start talking a lot - and let's face it, it's usually nonsense, and let's face it again, I'm not beyond norm here either - when they feel something is not quite right. Or when they're under stress.
Which is why when I am not so much afraid anymore, I fell into silence.
Haha, well, not complete silence, that wouldn't be me :)
But I limit talking, and pull out listening (finally!)
Now, thanks to one of few real friends*) I have I'm listening to Vinyl Cafe podcasts.
And it's both relaxing, and rediscovering.
One of their latest episodes is focused on the power of the untold.
Something I will probably never master, but keep on reaching for, nonetheless.
*) some may know the type, and if they do, they're really lucky:) it's the person you're blissfully unaware of, or pretend to be, since you're so busy and involved in so many things in your life, that you just don't call, don't email, don't message for months. Literally months.
And yet, when you finally realize last time you met, or spoke, was August last year, not August few months back... You email.
And they email you back like if nothing happen. And they're not angry, or irritated (or they're great at acting:)
And (how sophisticated my language has become...) when I really think of it, they are my only real friend. Sad and happy at the same time:) ...
Wednesday, 21 October 2015
Step out and be happy
When you do something outside of your comfort zone, all of the sudden there's this calmness in you.
And you know you did well.
No admiration, no clapping, no appreciation from anyone required.
Just accomplishment in you.
And a smile.
:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)