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Thursday, 3 November 2016

Not yet broken

Everything seems to be wrong these days. Not in sync with the vibe I am desperately trying to create and stay tuned with. Which is probably the reason why right is beyond reach. Trying too hard but putting little heart or effort into actions, ironically.

Being a not so horrible parent is more challenging than ever. Writing, ha, when was the last time I did that? Ages ago. To the point that FB tells me I haven't posted in XX days... Even baking. All is not enough.

While it would be of benefit to break things down and get to the source of all this misery,  looks like that same old tempting I'm miserable tell me I'm great or I will drawn us all in tears approach is winning. Not helpful. Short-sighted. Pathetic.

There are people out there who would give anything for my 'problems', if only they could see the world again. Or walk again. Or be able to have a child on their own. Or live each day without a constant fear something, or someone is going to kill them.

They say attitude is everything. Look beyond yourself, don't be so selfish, they say. Stick to the positive.

Appreciate that. We are all changing so staying in any state for too long is never a good thing. But being nothing then positive is equally unnatural. One can't be constantly happy unless they are on something. And I would assume even then the body adjusts, so after a while that something is not enough.

Maybe that is exactly what should be driving anyone. Not enough. Rather than sticking to 'not', or to 'enough', one might just acknowledge not enough is fine when noticed. And try to move on. 

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