- Sorry, excuse me - this guy flashes me with the whitest of teeth.
I return the smile automatically. Is this normal to have such bright teeth though? He probably never had a cup of coffee in his life. And apparently doesn't know how to use a map. As his next line is:
- How do I get to a Tiller Road?
"Looser", I think. I fight the wicked need to make a silly remark about his over-confidence and proper use of articles (who am I to judge anyway?)... Instead, I smile politely and say:
- It's not too far away, all you need to do is follow that path, and then... - using the usual "reassurance, followed by a light smile, ended up with a short set of directions" technique which always works.
So it did this time. He thanks me and goes away. I instantly feel like a better person. Isn't helping others fun? And only after a while I realise what he actually said. "Thank you, ma'am."Ma'am?!" I quickly check my outfit for today. No, it's not the uniform day, I have my casual clothes on. So it's the age. I'm screwed. And visibly old. All of a sudden, helping others sucks.
10 minutes later, while I'm still in my thoughts on aging, a lady approaches me on the street. I am not even trying to guess her age after this ma'am incident of mine; but she is most likely older than me; much older in fact...
- Excuse me, would you be able to help me, dear?
"Now, that's better. Dear is better. Pretty much everything is better than... you know what." I think, and want to say "Yes, of course".
That doesn't happen though. She doesn't really need my reply. She just goes on:
- Do you think I look better in pink, or in blue? - she asks, holding both scarves in her hands, one in the boldest magenta colour one could imagine, another in cobalt taken directly from Vincent van Gogh's paintings of Auvers...
- Blue, as it compliments your eyes and brightens your face - I answer almost automatically, without really thinking why and how she got to asking me that question. In the middle of the street. How odd! Then again, I act weirdly sometimes. So does anybody else then.
- Thank you, dear - she says and goes away.
What is happening though?! I look at my phone screen and suddenly come to a conclusion that I haven't used a watch since... I mean, for 11 years now; taking somebody else's habit of not wearing a wrist watch and using a phone instead seemed natural back at the beginning, and something I got used to - ironically - as time went by... But now, it's me again... I should buy myself a watch! That announcement is nothing when compared to the shocking fact it is 10am. 10 sharp! Which would be nothing unusual if not compared to another fact: my Mini-Man and me, we're on our way back from school. Where the Easter Bonnet parade took place. We watched it all; it ended at 11am! I looked at my phone when leaving so no mistake here... What is happening???
I check how my Mini-Man is doing: all seems to be OK there; he's in the buggy, having his favourite cookie, one of many favorites (a proud sweet-tooth owner, just like his mum), wearing his sunglasses whatever the weather; apparently he listened to that shocking report I had on last month, about the UV protection to be applied 24/7 to any human being, toddlers included...
I'm confused but not beyond norm. Maybe it was 9:30 when we were leaving... Which makes no sense since the parade started at 9:45 but then again... I didn't sleep well last night. Meaning, the 'I'm Gucci with one coffee' rule doesn't apply today...
- Excuse me - this time it's a man. With the most sunny face I could ever imagine. OK, this one's going to be interesting...
- How do you find the newest discoveries on the Moon? Curious, isn't it?
I'm starring at his face, and probably look like that looser I met earlier, the one wanting to know his own personalised way to get to that street, I forgot now which one it was. Nor can I remember why he was a looser in the first place. I definitely look stupid.
- What? - I say. That is all I can say.
- The Moon. You know - he says and smiles.
That didn't help. But I do my best to collect the leftovers of me.
- What I was meant to say, why are you asking me this question? I mean, I live near the 0 longitude, but... - And that's about it in the "let's make a stunning first impression" department. "Longitude". Seriously. Who uses such word in a conversation anyway? Not to mention, I probably mispronounced it heavily...
- You really want to know my opinion? - That is me desperately trying to make a stunning second impression. Helpless. "Helpless in London", what a great title that would be...
- Well, of course, you're the expert on everything, aren't you? - he says, like if I said something really smart. And smiles even more.
And then it gets to me.
- It's a dream! A beautiful dream! - I say. And smile back. - It must be! That is exactly what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be all my life. Advise people and be Ms EOE: Expert on Everything!
He looks surprised, but doesn't say anything. That just proves I am right. Which is usually the case, by the way. I even wear this T-shirt today to prove it: "I am not always right. I am just never wrong." It is true.
All I need to do now is don't wake up. Ever.
No harm trying...
Written to decrease modesty, increase ability to express ideas clearly, and to proof it's ok to be both vulnerable and feisty :)
When you look for sth here
Showing posts with label Writer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writer. Show all posts
Tuesday, 12 April 2016
Saturday, 9 April 2016
The Day - part 4 out of 4 :)
9:00pm
We watch an episode of the Strawberry Shortcake, my SuperSpiderGirl and me. Where the girls get a glittery manicure which releases sounds and melodies whenever you move your hands. Beautiful at first, annoying and hard to bear later on.
I know, it sounds so shallow: watching a cartoon with your 7.5-year old, tucked in your arms like if it was 4 years ago. But the fact is, we both missed it and both needed it so much it is actually a shame I haven't noticed that earlier.
Also, choosing a more girly tale would be quite challenging... But it tells a story of disappointment, 'white lies' and how you suffer when you tell them while in fact you're much better off being honest... It explains friendship where you feel comfortable criticising something because you know they appreciate getting to know your true opinion.
So, we talk about it.
Out of talking comes the love. I kind of forgot that. Happy the Strawberry Shortcake acted as a gentle reminder:)
Night
Dreams are very powerful. They can soothe you, or they can haunt you. They can give you weird feeling of uneasiness during the day, or they can make you sleep like a log. But if the day was the one to be appreciated, and you have someone to dream about, it's ok. That ok you hardly ever get. While, sadly, many people never get. Worth reminding. And being grateful for. And smile, even if just to self, when you wake up.
We watch an episode of the Strawberry Shortcake, my SuperSpiderGirl and me. Where the girls get a glittery manicure which releases sounds and melodies whenever you move your hands. Beautiful at first, annoying and hard to bear later on.
I know, it sounds so shallow: watching a cartoon with your 7.5-year old, tucked in your arms like if it was 4 years ago. But the fact is, we both missed it and both needed it so much it is actually a shame I haven't noticed that earlier.
Also, choosing a more girly tale would be quite challenging... But it tells a story of disappointment, 'white lies' and how you suffer when you tell them while in fact you're much better off being honest... It explains friendship where you feel comfortable criticising something because you know they appreciate getting to know your true opinion.
So, we talk about it.
Out of talking comes the love. I kind of forgot that. Happy the Strawberry Shortcake acted as a gentle reminder:)
Night
Dreams are very powerful. They can soothe you, or they can haunt you. They can give you weird feeling of uneasiness during the day, or they can make you sleep like a log. But if the day was the one to be appreciated, and you have someone to dream about, it's ok. That ok you hardly ever get. While, sadly, many people never get. Worth reminding. And being grateful for. And smile, even if just to self, when you wake up.
Friday, 1 April 2016
The Day - part 3 out of many :)
3:30pm
'So, are we making cookies?' I ask. 'No', she says at first, as she is in the 'no-phase' at the moment; I need to wait until she actually gets the message. 'Yes, let's do this', she says, after a while. Ok then. It's rolling time. And then her hands choose the cutters, and make one even surface separated, with eggs, chickens, and bunnies. It's exciting, more than I expected. Then he joins in, standing on tip-toes but not letting go, following his sister's moves as best as he can. As a result, rolling is repeated several times. Doesn't matter; what matters is, we're really having fun.
5:00pm
3 baking trays later, we're full. Yes, I admit being guilty as charged of eating barely cooled butter cookies. I am not the only one here to blame; that doesn't make the energy intake lower though. Booty challenge, here I come.
7:30pm
If you follow a 35-step procedure (sometimes more like a 40-one), and show extreme patience and consistence throughout the day ('No, I will not pick you up, you have to walk, sorry, yes, I know you will make it, it is not that far away, well done!'), the miracle happens. Mini-Man is asleep before the clock strikes 8. It's like our version of the Cinderella story, adjusted to any mum's evening of her dreams. Shh, don't wake the guy-to-be:)
'So, are we making cookies?' I ask. 'No', she says at first, as she is in the 'no-phase' at the moment; I need to wait until she actually gets the message. 'Yes, let's do this', she says, after a while. Ok then. It's rolling time. And then her hands choose the cutters, and make one even surface separated, with eggs, chickens, and bunnies. It's exciting, more than I expected. Then he joins in, standing on tip-toes but not letting go, following his sister's moves as best as he can. As a result, rolling is repeated several times. Doesn't matter; what matters is, we're really having fun.
5:00pm
3 baking trays later, we're full. Yes, I admit being guilty as charged of eating barely cooled butter cookies. I am not the only one here to blame; that doesn't make the energy intake lower though. Booty challenge, here I come.
7:30pm
If you follow a 35-step procedure (sometimes more like a 40-one), and show extreme patience and consistence throughout the day ('No, I will not pick you up, you have to walk, sorry, yes, I know you will make it, it is not that far away, well done!'), the miracle happens. Mini-Man is asleep before the clock strikes 8. It's like our version of the Cinderella story, adjusted to any mum's evening of her dreams. Shh, don't wake the guy-to-be:)
Saturday, 26 March 2016
The Day - part 2 out of many :)
8:54am
All is fine. They were just playing in their room, using old changing board as a mini slide. An idea both me and the SuperSpiderGirl accidentally implemented on a gloomy day about a year ago. Saved by inventive spirit...
10:30am
We're on our way to the shops to get few things before Easter. The crucial ones: milk, bread, apples. Milk is for the younger, bread for the older, apples for all really. As we go through the university, we pass many visitors, not discouraged by unfavorable weather conditions, bravely pretending they can fully admire the work of Christopher Wren, while wind blows their heads off, and rain slowly soaks their spring attire. It's almost April. It's supposed to be warmer.
12:00pm
Home sweet home... I haven't thought of the place we live in now as home until recently. Which is by all means weird. Apparently you need to feel like at home to call a place home, like this, where I can fully relax, and feel positive vibrations from every corner of every room. It's not about the place, it's about the people, and yet...
2:00pm
I have daffodils in a vase. Put them in 3 days ago, and they are in full bloom since yesterday. They are not the usual yellow ones, rather a slightly twisted version, white ones with light lemony middle. 9 out of 10, that is. Cause the 10th one is different. It's yellow with orange bits in the centre. Like if the sun was shining on that particular one, the late afternoon rays warming and embracing. It's nice:)
All is fine. They were just playing in their room, using old changing board as a mini slide. An idea both me and the SuperSpiderGirl accidentally implemented on a gloomy day about a year ago. Saved by inventive spirit...
10:30am
We're on our way to the shops to get few things before Easter. The crucial ones: milk, bread, apples. Milk is for the younger, bread for the older, apples for all really. As we go through the university, we pass many visitors, not discouraged by unfavorable weather conditions, bravely pretending they can fully admire the work of Christopher Wren, while wind blows their heads off, and rain slowly soaks their spring attire. It's almost April. It's supposed to be warmer.
12:00pm
Home sweet home... I haven't thought of the place we live in now as home until recently. Which is by all means weird. Apparently you need to feel like at home to call a place home, like this, where I can fully relax, and feel positive vibrations from every corner of every room. It's not about the place, it's about the people, and yet...
2:00pm
I have daffodils in a vase. Put them in 3 days ago, and they are in full bloom since yesterday. They are not the usual yellow ones, rather a slightly twisted version, white ones with light lemony middle. 9 out of 10, that is. Cause the 10th one is different. It's yellow with orange bits in the centre. Like if the sun was shining on that particular one, the late afternoon rays warming and embracing. It's nice:)
The Day - part 1 out of many :)
7:07am
I raise my head and see shiny whiteness of kitchen cupboard right in front of me. Making pancakes at this insane hour is nothing new to me, but after just few hours of sleep everything seems to be less exciting, and more energy-consuming. Yet, there is something soothing about pouring milk into whisked eggs, adding clouds of flour and have all the mess transforming into one consistent mixture. Just a touch of olive oil, and another cloud, of cinnamon this time... Ready. Waiting for the pan to give that right temperature, not too cold, and not too hot. The right one. Wondering how many coffees will get me through the day...
8:15am
Apparently, I'm Gucci with one (for anyone who has no idea what I just said, like me until few days ago, Gucci means good... Seriously? I'm not even in Italy... Been to Florence once, but... Seriously? Why not I'm McQueen with one? Then at least I would fit into local 'proud to be British' campaign. Even though I am neither British, nor proud. Ok, I am sometimes. Proud, that is. I am... So I'm McQueen with one...). Reading a book about the fashion in Poland after World War II, when the centralised system and unification of clothes scarcely available in shops led to manifestation of one's own style and approach to life in general through their dresses, scarfs, coats, usually second hand, usually recreated to fit better, and therefore unique and unrepeatable. 'Fashion is a way of fighting.' I would say that was and is and will be the case everywhere. Just another form of creating something, expressing oneself, and enjoying oneself. Which is what life is meant to be, after all.
8:42am
There is this silence all of the sudden. Still being Gucci, or McQueeny, it took me only 3 minutes to notice that. What are they doing? Is something wrong? Stop. This doesn't help. There's two of them, If something is wrong with one, the other will come and tell you. Then again, what if both of them need my help? Awful, awful mother. So I go. Only to see...
I raise my head and see shiny whiteness of kitchen cupboard right in front of me. Making pancakes at this insane hour is nothing new to me, but after just few hours of sleep everything seems to be less exciting, and more energy-consuming. Yet, there is something soothing about pouring milk into whisked eggs, adding clouds of flour and have all the mess transforming into one consistent mixture. Just a touch of olive oil, and another cloud, of cinnamon this time... Ready. Waiting for the pan to give that right temperature, not too cold, and not too hot. The right one. Wondering how many coffees will get me through the day...
8:15am
Apparently, I'm Gucci with one (for anyone who has no idea what I just said, like me until few days ago, Gucci means good... Seriously? I'm not even in Italy... Been to Florence once, but... Seriously? Why not I'm McQueen with one? Then at least I would fit into local 'proud to be British' campaign. Even though I am neither British, nor proud. Ok, I am sometimes. Proud, that is. I am... So I'm McQueen with one...). Reading a book about the fashion in Poland after World War II, when the centralised system and unification of clothes scarcely available in shops led to manifestation of one's own style and approach to life in general through their dresses, scarfs, coats, usually second hand, usually recreated to fit better, and therefore unique and unrepeatable. 'Fashion is a way of fighting.' I would say that was and is and will be the case everywhere. Just another form of creating something, expressing oneself, and enjoying oneself. Which is what life is meant to be, after all.
8:42am
There is this silence all of the sudden. Still being Gucci, or McQueeny, it took me only 3 minutes to notice that. What are they doing? Is something wrong? Stop. This doesn't help. There's two of them, If something is wrong with one, the other will come and tell you. Then again, what if both of them need my help? Awful, awful mother. So I go. Only to see...
Tuesday, 1 March 2016
CLOSET
People in the play
EMMA
ALICE
I
EMMA
- I like feeling relaxed at home, and wearing nothing. It's so liberating. I wish I could do that more often.
ALICE
- What stops you?
EMMA
- Daylight. Neighbours. English appropriateness.
ALICE
- Never thought any of that matters to you.
EMMA
- Hehe
II
ALICE
- Went window shopping last night.
EMMA
- Sounds upsetting
ALICE
- Not at all; it felt liberating actually - no need to spend any money with all the freedom to flick through clothes.
EMMA
- That's ok then
III
EMMA
- Finally! The spring is here. Why are you wearing that turtleneck today? It's really warm!
ALICE
- Oh, it's just that... I felt chilly this morning...
EMMA
- You? Chilly! You're the one wearing T-shirts all year long! Chilly?!?
ALICE
- Yeah, well, it's... it's complicated...
EMMA
- Meaning? What's happening?
ALICE
- Everything is fine. I need to go.
IV
ALICE
- That dress is beautiful! But I cannot wear it.
EMMA
- Why not? It will suit you!
ALICE
- It's too... too... revealing
EMMA
- No it's not, there's just a T-shirt neckline, nothing more.
ALICE
- Yeah, but the colours, I don't think they suit me.
EMMA
- You will look lovely, just try it on, you will see.
ALICE
- I can't!
EMMA
- What is going on? Will you tell me? I can help you, if needs be!
ALICE
- Aha. Ok. Thanks, no need for that.
V
EMMA
(reading a newspaper)
' A 22-year old Alice G. was discovered dead at the Cwrwrrwwmhn Inn in Wales, alongside a note with just one word: "Closet". It turned out she has been severely wounded, and strangled several times, with 4 facial bones fractured as a result of physical abuse...'
(stops reading)
- If only I wasn't so selfish... If only I didn't let her go...
EMMA
ALICE
I
EMMA
- I like feeling relaxed at home, and wearing nothing. It's so liberating. I wish I could do that more often.
ALICE
- What stops you?
EMMA
- Daylight. Neighbours. English appropriateness.
ALICE
- Never thought any of that matters to you.
EMMA
- Hehe
II
ALICE
- Went window shopping last night.
EMMA
- Sounds upsetting
ALICE
- Not at all; it felt liberating actually - no need to spend any money with all the freedom to flick through clothes.
EMMA
- That's ok then
III
EMMA
- Finally! The spring is here. Why are you wearing that turtleneck today? It's really warm!
ALICE
- Oh, it's just that... I felt chilly this morning...
EMMA
- You? Chilly! You're the one wearing T-shirts all year long! Chilly?!?
ALICE
- Yeah, well, it's... it's complicated...
EMMA
- Meaning? What's happening?
ALICE
- Everything is fine. I need to go.
IV
ALICE
- That dress is beautiful! But I cannot wear it.
EMMA
- Why not? It will suit you!
ALICE
- It's too... too... revealing
EMMA
- No it's not, there's just a T-shirt neckline, nothing more.
ALICE
- Yeah, but the colours, I don't think they suit me.
EMMA
- You will look lovely, just try it on, you will see.
ALICE
- I can't!
EMMA
- What is going on? Will you tell me? I can help you, if needs be!
ALICE
- Aha. Ok. Thanks, no need for that.
V
EMMA
(reading a newspaper)
' A 22-year old Alice G. was discovered dead at the Cwrwrrwwmhn Inn in Wales, alongside a note with just one word: "Closet". It turned out she has been severely wounded, and strangled several times, with 4 facial bones fractured as a result of physical abuse...'
(stops reading)
- If only I wasn't so selfish... If only I didn't let her go...
Monday, 29 February 2016
Mathematical challenge ALL THE NUMBERS YOU CANNOT HAVE
PEOPLE IN THE PLAY
HER
HIM
SCENE 1
In the garden, at the garden table, the couple is sitting in comfortable rattan chairs, drinking tea, eating biscuits
HER
(reading a book out loud)- 'and then, he just held his last breath, and died' ... well, that make sense
HIM
- ... sorry, what?
HER
- the last breath suggests in itself there is no more breathing left ... so logically then, you die
HIM
- fair enough
SCENE 2
In the garden, at the garden table, the couple is sitting in comfortable rattan chairs, drinking tea, eating chocolate cake
HER
- if you have good heart, and head full of porn movies, you're sorted
HIM
- ... sorry, what?!?
HER
- that's the result of newest research done by US psychology association, apparently. They were testing 123 couples over a 5-year period. It turns out thinking about porn and being kind to each other gives you pretty good chances for a healthy relationship
HIM
- fair enough
SCENE 3
In the garden, at the garden table, the couple is sitting in comfortable rattan chairs, drinking tea, eating sandwiches
HER
(reading a journal out loud) - 'Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Saturday Sunday' ... hm, Sunday again !
HIM
- you forgot Friday
HER
- no I didn't
HIM
- yes you did, you said Thursday and then Saturday - forgot Friday
HER
- Oh, I was just reading the weekly spelling task from her journal. There is no Friday but Sunday is mentioned twice. Interesting...
HIM
- Is it? Maybe they just forgot...
HER
- What if it's some kind of a code? Like, don't think of the last day of workweek too much, try to spend more quality time with your kids on Sundays
HIM
- seriously ...
HER
- what?!? what if I am right!?!
HIM
- fair enough
SCENE 4
In the kitchen, Her cooking, Him reading a newspaper, sitting at the table.
HER
- I think that if I hear fair enough one more time from you, I'm calling that whole thing off ...
HIM
- What do you mean?
HER
- I mean a divorce
HIM
- You want a divorce because of fair enough??? What about us? What about our life together? What about the passion?
HER
- Exactly ...
THE END
HER
HIM
SCENE 1
In the garden, at the garden table, the couple is sitting in comfortable rattan chairs, drinking tea, eating biscuits
HER
(reading a book out loud)- 'and then, he just held his last breath, and died' ... well, that make sense
HIM
- ... sorry, what?
HER
- the last breath suggests in itself there is no more breathing left ... so logically then, you die
HIM
- fair enough
SCENE 2
In the garden, at the garden table, the couple is sitting in comfortable rattan chairs, drinking tea, eating chocolate cake
HER
- if you have good heart, and head full of porn movies, you're sorted
HIM
- ... sorry, what?!?
HER
- that's the result of newest research done by US psychology association, apparently. They were testing 123 couples over a 5-year period. It turns out thinking about porn and being kind to each other gives you pretty good chances for a healthy relationship
HIM
- fair enough
SCENE 3
In the garden, at the garden table, the couple is sitting in comfortable rattan chairs, drinking tea, eating sandwiches
HER
(reading a journal out loud) - 'Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Saturday Sunday' ... hm, Sunday again !
HIM
- you forgot Friday
HER
- no I didn't
HIM
- yes you did, you said Thursday and then Saturday - forgot Friday
HER
- Oh, I was just reading the weekly spelling task from her journal. There is no Friday but Sunday is mentioned twice. Interesting...
HIM
- Is it? Maybe they just forgot...
HER
- What if it's some kind of a code? Like, don't think of the last day of workweek too much, try to spend more quality time with your kids on Sundays
HIM
- seriously ...
HER
- what?!? what if I am right!?!
HIM
- fair enough
SCENE 4
In the kitchen, Her cooking, Him reading a newspaper, sitting at the table.
HER
- I think that if I hear fair enough one more time from you, I'm calling that whole thing off ...
HIM
- What do you mean?
HER
- I mean a divorce
HIM
- You want a divorce because of fair enough??? What about us? What about our life together? What about the passion?
HER
- Exactly ...
THE END
Sunday, 28 February 2016
Never sit on a ... [the elongated version]
SCENE 1
5 Mayflies gather around the crib, where a little mayfly lies softly and peacefully. Each one of them has a wand.
Mayfly 1
5 Mayflies gather around the crib, where a little mayfly lies softly and peacefully. Each one of them has a wand.
Mayfly 1
We
only live 1 day. Darling, remember to enjoy every second to the full.
Life is full of surprises, don't let any of them slip away. You never
get a second chance.
Mayfly 2
Don't
let others fool you. Be inquisitive and bright. Stay calm, and listen,
and look before you speak. Listen before you judge. And once you judge,
don't be afraid to stick to it.
Mayfly 3
Have
courage to discover new things. Don't be afraid: nothing wrong may
happen to you when you follow your passion, when you do what
you feel is right for you.
Mayfly 4
Be
beautiful inside out. Remember, this is not about the looks. This is
about staying true to yourself. Then, and only then, you are truly
beautiful. Minutes passing by - regardless...
Mayfly 5
Never sit on a Fae...
Saturday, 27 February 2016
Sleepless in London
AGNES
- What is dream? Why do I need it in the first place?
ABEL
- You're asking for a medical reasoning behind sleep?
AGNES
- You're serious? I'm here talking about dreaming, a creative process involving our imagination, happening on a subconscious level, and you're killing that all with... whatever?
ABEL
- Hm... All right...
AGNES
- Actually, I think it's more left side of our brain that's responsible for dreaming...
ABEL
- Huh?
AGNES
- Doesn't matter...
AGNES
- Would you rather be a crayon floating freely in space, or a piece of metal diving freely into the depth of the ocean?
ABEL
- What!?! A crayon, or a piece? Have you taken something again?
AGNES
- No, no! What do you mean, again? I have never ever taken something you wouldn't... So this is highly inappropriate to ask in the first place.
ABEL
- Then what kind of question is this? Seriously, since you started this whole blog shenanigans, you're talking more and more nonsense.
AGNES
- Well, thank you. I'll take that as a complement. Happy to hear my talking makes no sense. That's exactly what I wanted to achieve.
ABEL
- What!?! Why!?!
AGNES
- Because, for as long as I remember, I have been all about reasoning. All about making sense. All about rational approach to everything. I got bored with that. So, from now on I'm more into flow, impression, power of the moment, and beauty of nonsense.
ABEL
- You're insane.AGNES
- You're boring. And normal. I win!
ABEL
- I have never thought I would say that, but I don't recognize you; not any more.AGNES
- That's your problem, not mine. I can still see it's me whenever I look at the mirror.
ABEL
- I'm deeply confused.AGNES
- Oh, I see. So you would rather be a piece of metal diving deep into the ocean. Fair enough. I'm more into the crayon and space. That can mean only one thing.
ABEL
- Which is?AGNES
- We're no longer meant to be. I'm leaving you.
ABEL
- What?!? Why???AGNES
- Because you're no longer interesting, and no longer interested in me. Because you have your own hobbies, problems, and interests, and I'm not included. Because you're more used to me than in love. Because I'm done pretending I'm in love.
ABEL
- But I've got used to you... We're together for ages. How would I... How will you make it alone? This is insane! You're insane!
AGNES
- I hope so!!
- What is dream? Why do I need it in the first place?
ABEL
- You're asking for a medical reasoning behind sleep?
AGNES
- You're serious? I'm here talking about dreaming, a creative process involving our imagination, happening on a subconscious level, and you're killing that all with... whatever?
ABEL
- Hm... All right...
AGNES
- Actually, I think it's more left side of our brain that's responsible for dreaming...
ABEL
- Huh?
AGNES
- Doesn't matter...
AGNES
- Would you rather be a crayon floating freely in space, or a piece of metal diving freely into the depth of the ocean?
ABEL
- What!?! A crayon, or a piece? Have you taken something again?
AGNES
- No, no! What do you mean, again? I have never ever taken something you wouldn't... So this is highly inappropriate to ask in the first place.
ABEL
- Then what kind of question is this? Seriously, since you started this whole blog shenanigans, you're talking more and more nonsense.
AGNES
- Well, thank you. I'll take that as a complement. Happy to hear my talking makes no sense. That's exactly what I wanted to achieve.
ABEL
- What!?! Why!?!
AGNES
- Because, for as long as I remember, I have been all about reasoning. All about making sense. All about rational approach to everything. I got bored with that. So, from now on I'm more into flow, impression, power of the moment, and beauty of nonsense.
ABEL
- You're insane.AGNES
- You're boring. And normal. I win!
ABEL
- I have never thought I would say that, but I don't recognize you; not any more.AGNES
- That's your problem, not mine. I can still see it's me whenever I look at the mirror.
ABEL
- I'm deeply confused.AGNES
- Oh, I see. So you would rather be a piece of metal diving deep into the ocean. Fair enough. I'm more into the crayon and space. That can mean only one thing.
ABEL
- Which is?AGNES
- We're no longer meant to be. I'm leaving you.
ABEL
- What?!? Why???AGNES
- Because you're no longer interesting, and no longer interested in me. Because you have your own hobbies, problems, and interests, and I'm not included. Because you're more used to me than in love. Because I'm done pretending I'm in love.
ABEL
- But I've got used to you... We're together for ages. How would I... How will you make it alone? This is insane! You're insane!
AGNES
- I hope so!!
Friday, 26 February 2016
Taken by storm - again
ROB - Look at this, darling, it's shocking! All first page about the weather. Horrible, horrible...
ROB - You said no evil under the sun, why evil?
EDWINA - What, the weather? You don't have to read about, just
look outside. When I was getting that newspaper for you, the one you are reading now, about the weather, I was nearly blown away.
ROB - blown out rather
EDWINA - that too
ROB - But I wasn't talking about the weather! Although it is a fascinating subject... I was talking about the share prices; all went down yesterday. And yes, they compare it to the weather, but it's the share prices... Horrible, horrible...
EDWINA - Huh?
ROB - It's everywhere, all across the globe!!! The markets battered...
EDWINA - but their analogy to weather makes no sense
ROB - Why?
EDWINA - Men... because it is not stormy and windy all over the world, clearly!?!
ROB - I guess...
EDWINA - Exactly! Thank you! There is no evil under the sun somewhere else. There is clear blue sky and sun warming your skin, making everything brighter and fresher...
And if it rains, it only rains at night, so then you wake up to another bright and fresh day...
ROB - I guess...
EDWINA - Exactly! Thank you! There is no evil under the sun somewhere else. There is clear blue sky and sun warming your skin, making everything brighter and fresher...
And if it rains, it only rains at night, so then you wake up to another bright and fresh day...
ROB - You said no evil under the sun, why evil?
EDWINA - I read. A lot. Books, you know. And that is a quote, from a Agatha, an amazing crime stories author.
ROB - Never heard of... Or I did! I did, I just forgot...
EDWINA - You forgot. Hmm.
ROB - Wait until you're 80. You will know what I mean then.
EDWINA - You forgot. Hmm.
ROB - Wait until you're 80. You will know what I mean then.
EDWINA - I am already 80. Actually, I am 82.
ROB - Really? So it is not a temporary memory loss. I have Alzheimer's. Oh my God...
Thursday, 25 February 2016
RETENTION
SHE
45-year old, in a relationship with HE for the last 11.5 years
HE
46-year old, in a relationship with SHE for the last 11.5 years
SCENE 1
At the park
SHE - I have been thinking of what you said the other day... And I completely disagree.
HE - Which words do you refer to exactly? I believe I said quite a lot recently.
SHE - Naa, it's me. I'm the one who talks. Too much. Remember?
HE - True. Yet, I have no idea what you mean.
SHE - Typical.
SCENE 2
In the bedroom
SHE - So, which colour suits me best, blue or red?
HE - You look beautiful in any of these.
SHE - For once, can't you decide? And not be afraid to share your opinion?! Seriously...
HE - OK, blue.
SHE - Blue? Really? Naa...
HE - Then why did you even ask?
SHE - Just for fun...
SCENE 3
At the balcony
SHE - Look! It's full moon! How lovely
HE - Yes. It is beautiful.
SHE - You remember the first full moon we saw together? It was 12 years ago, in Tuscany, we were drinking Chianti in that little restaurant at 11pm, with all the people around...
HE - I touched your hand, and said your skin was so soft it was almost unreal...
SHE - Yes. Yes, that is exactly what you said. You remember!?
HE - I do. I do...
45-year old, in a relationship with HE for the last 11.5 years
HE
46-year old, in a relationship with SHE for the last 11.5 years
SCENE 1
At the park
SHE - I have been thinking of what you said the other day... And I completely disagree.
HE - Which words do you refer to exactly? I believe I said quite a lot recently.
SHE - Naa, it's me. I'm the one who talks. Too much. Remember?
HE - True. Yet, I have no idea what you mean.
SHE - Typical.
SCENE 2
In the bedroom
SHE - So, which colour suits me best, blue or red?
HE - You look beautiful in any of these.
SHE - For once, can't you decide? And not be afraid to share your opinion?! Seriously...
HE - OK, blue.
SHE - Blue? Really? Naa...
HE - Then why did you even ask?
SHE - Just for fun...
SCENE 3
At the balcony
SHE - Look! It's full moon! How lovely
HE - Yes. It is beautiful.
SHE - You remember the first full moon we saw together? It was 12 years ago, in Tuscany, we were drinking Chianti in that little restaurant at 11pm, with all the people around...
HE - I touched your hand, and said your skin was so soft it was almost unreal...
SHE - Yes. Yes, that is exactly what you said. You remember!?
HE - I do. I do...
Wednesday, 24 February 2016
Aha
KLAUDIA
corka Krystyny
KRYSTYNA
mama Klaudii
KLAUDIA - Mamo, choc, bedzie fajnie.
KRYSTYNA - Nie mam czasu, daj spokoj!
KLAUDIA - Mamo! Kiedy ostatnio bylysmy razem na zakupach, co? No, chodz...
KRYSTYNA - Przeciez Ty nigdy nie lubisz tego, co Ci kupuje. I zawsze co zrobie, jest zle.
KLAUDIA - Mamo, prosze Cie. Chodz!
KRYSTYNA - Bez sensu; poza tym ja nic nie potrzebuje. Mam wszystko, co trzeba, dziekuje.
KLAUDIA - Ale ja potrzebuje rady w sprawie butow...
KRYSTYNA - Jestes pewna, ze ode mnie? Przeciez Ty nigdy nie lubisz tego, co Ci kupuje. I zawsze co zrobie, jest zle.
KLAUDIA - Aha. Ale tu chodzi o mnie.
KRYSTYNA - No tak. O Ciebie. Ja sie juz nie licze... Moja samotna wedrowka przez zycie dobiega konca, czuje to, i niestety nie doczekam ani Twojego szczescia. Ani wnukow...
KLAUDIA - Mamo! Ja jestem szczesliwa. Bywam szczesliwa. Jest w porzadku. A poza tym... Poza tym, 'trza byc w butach na weselu'
KRYSTYNA - Slucham?!?
...
KLAUDIA
Krystyna's daughter
KRYSTYNA
Klaudia's mom
KLAUDIA - Mom, come, it will be fun.
KRYSTYNA - I don't have time now, leave me alone!
KLAUDIA - Mom! When was the last time we were shopping, huh? Come on...
KRYSTYNA - But you never like what I am buying for you. Regardless of what I do, I do not do well.
KLAUDIA - Mom, please. Come!
KRYSTYNA - There's no reason for me to go; besides I need nothing. I have everything I need, thank you.
KLAUDIA - But I need advice on the shoes ...
KRYSTYNA - Are you sure that you want that from me? But you never like what I am buying for you. Regardless of what I do, I do not do well.
KLAUDIA - Aha. But this is about me.
KRYSTYNA - Yeah. About you. I am not even considered here any more ... My lonely journey through life comes to an end, I can feel it, and unfortunately I won't manage to see you happy. Not to mention any of my grandchildren ...
KLAUDIA - Mom! I am happy. Sometimes. It's fine. And besides ... Besides, 'you're supposed to wear shoes at a wedding'
KRYSTYNA - What did you just say?!?
corka Krystyny
KRYSTYNA
mama Klaudii
KLAUDIA - Mamo, choc, bedzie fajnie.
KRYSTYNA - Nie mam czasu, daj spokoj!
KLAUDIA - Mamo! Kiedy ostatnio bylysmy razem na zakupach, co? No, chodz...
KRYSTYNA - Przeciez Ty nigdy nie lubisz tego, co Ci kupuje. I zawsze co zrobie, jest zle.
KLAUDIA - Mamo, prosze Cie. Chodz!
KRYSTYNA - Bez sensu; poza tym ja nic nie potrzebuje. Mam wszystko, co trzeba, dziekuje.
KLAUDIA - Ale ja potrzebuje rady w sprawie butow...
KRYSTYNA - Jestes pewna, ze ode mnie? Przeciez Ty nigdy nie lubisz tego, co Ci kupuje. I zawsze co zrobie, jest zle.
KLAUDIA - Aha. Ale tu chodzi o mnie.
KRYSTYNA - No tak. O Ciebie. Ja sie juz nie licze... Moja samotna wedrowka przez zycie dobiega konca, czuje to, i niestety nie doczekam ani Twojego szczescia. Ani wnukow...
KLAUDIA - Mamo! Ja jestem szczesliwa. Bywam szczesliwa. Jest w porzadku. A poza tym... Poza tym, 'trza byc w butach na weselu'
KRYSTYNA - Slucham?!?
...
KLAUDIA
Krystyna's daughter
KRYSTYNA
Klaudia's mom
KLAUDIA - Mom, come, it will be fun.
KRYSTYNA - I don't have time now, leave me alone!
KLAUDIA - Mom! When was the last time we were shopping, huh? Come on...
KRYSTYNA - But you never like what I am buying for you. Regardless of what I do, I do not do well.
KLAUDIA - Mom, please. Come!
KRYSTYNA - There's no reason for me to go; besides I need nothing. I have everything I need, thank you.
KLAUDIA - But I need advice on the shoes ...
KRYSTYNA - Are you sure that you want that from me? But you never like what I am buying for you. Regardless of what I do, I do not do well.
KLAUDIA - Aha. But this is about me.
KRYSTYNA - Yeah. About you. I am not even considered here any more ... My lonely journey through life comes to an end, I can feel it, and unfortunately I won't manage to see you happy. Not to mention any of my grandchildren ...
KLAUDIA - Mom! I am happy. Sometimes. It's fine. And besides ... Besides, 'you're supposed to wear shoes at a wedding'
KRYSTYNA - What did you just say?!?
Tuesday, 23 February 2016
Enchanted
MUM - 45-year old feminist
DAUGHTER 1 - 17-year old idealist
DAUGHTER 2 - 15-year old radical
MUM
Reading a novel, sitting in a comfortable chair next to the fireplace; it's a sunny warm afternoon in October in the south east London
- 'Scarlett O’Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were.'
DAUGHTER 1
- Oh, no! Not that thing again!
DAUGHTER 2
- Mum, do we have to listen to this again?
MUM
- Why not? It's a great novel. I like it. Many things happen, you can see that happy moments theory of mine across the pages.
DAUGHTER 1
- But she is so shallow! And silly! Like if all life was about were men! While it is clearly all about love!
MUM
- Hm...
DAUGHTER 2
- You agree with her? You? Mum?! You're always so independent, so strong. You really think it's all about men??? Seriously!
MUM
- No, I just get her point of view. She was not aware of other options, she thought this was the best could happen to a girl. Well-wed - perfect life, perfect solution.
DAUGHTER1
- I would have written the whole thing totally different though.
MUM
- Really? Why don't you enlighten us then.
DAUGHTER 1
- Well, I would start with her marrying Rett, followed by their trip to Europe, which would result in her giving birth to a sweet daughter 1 year later, and an equally lovely son after another 2 years. In the meantime...
........
DAUGHTER 1 - 17-year old idealist
DAUGHTER 2 - 15-year old radical
MUM
Reading a novel, sitting in a comfortable chair next to the fireplace; it's a sunny warm afternoon in October in the south east London
- 'Scarlett O’Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were.'
DAUGHTER 1
- Oh, no! Not that thing again!
DAUGHTER 2
- Mum, do we have to listen to this again?
MUM
- Why not? It's a great novel. I like it. Many things happen, you can see that happy moments theory of mine across the pages.
DAUGHTER 1
- But she is so shallow! And silly! Like if all life was about were men! While it is clearly all about love!
MUM
- Hm...
DAUGHTER 2
- You agree with her? You? Mum?! You're always so independent, so strong. You really think it's all about men??? Seriously!
MUM
- No, I just get her point of view. She was not aware of other options, she thought this was the best could happen to a girl. Well-wed - perfect life, perfect solution.
DAUGHTER1
- I would have written the whole thing totally different though.
MUM
- Really? Why don't you enlighten us then.
DAUGHTER 1
- Well, I would start with her marrying Rett, followed by their trip to Europe, which would result in her giving birth to a sweet daughter 1 year later, and an equally lovely son after another 2 years. In the meantime...
........
Monday, 22 February 2016
EXPECTED TWIST
CD WRITER
semi-talented creative writer, obsessed with describing deers and their everyday life, hence his nickname
DRAWER
drawing artist, not talented at all, hence his nickname
CD WRITER
Hi Drawer, what's up?
DRAWER
Hey, CD, never been better. I'm into sculpturing recently, using leaves and brunches as main materials. Didn't figure out the issue with lifespan of my artwork yet, but I will get there...
CD
Yeah, yeah, well, nature - what can you do, it's rarely flawless, usually flowing
DRAWER
Heh?...
CD
Oh, doesn't matter. How's your lovely wife?
DRAWER
Elena?
CD
Have you got any other?
DRAWER
No, it's just that... I mean...
CD
What's wrong? You may tell me. I might help.
DRAWER
She doesn't want to be with me.
CD
She's leaving you? Seriously?
DRAWER
Unfortunately, she is. Since I decided to leave that boring corporate world, and go on an independent artistic route, she became bitter, mean, and heartless. She said she's not interested in me any more.
CD
That's harsh. Sorry to hear. Then again, maybe it's for the better for you. Not so lovely after all. She's never been pretty actually. Could never be a model for you.
DRAWER
Hmmm... True. Never thought of that.
CD
You see? Besides, you're 38. Perfect age to find yourself a pretty one. A younger one. A model one. That should help your career, and your life.
DRAWER
You should be a career advisor, not a writer!
CD
You think? Hmmm...
semi-talented creative writer, obsessed with describing deers and their everyday life, hence his nickname
DRAWER
drawing artist, not talented at all, hence his nickname
CD WRITER
Hi Drawer, what's up?
DRAWER
Hey, CD, never been better. I'm into sculpturing recently, using leaves and brunches as main materials. Didn't figure out the issue with lifespan of my artwork yet, but I will get there...
CD
Yeah, yeah, well, nature - what can you do, it's rarely flawless, usually flowing
DRAWER
Heh?...
CD
Oh, doesn't matter. How's your lovely wife?
DRAWER
Elena?
CD
Have you got any other?
DRAWER
No, it's just that... I mean...
CD
What's wrong? You may tell me. I might help.
DRAWER
She doesn't want to be with me.
CD
She's leaving you? Seriously?
DRAWER
Unfortunately, she is. Since I decided to leave that boring corporate world, and go on an independent artistic route, she became bitter, mean, and heartless. She said she's not interested in me any more.
CD
That's harsh. Sorry to hear. Then again, maybe it's for the better for you. Not so lovely after all. She's never been pretty actually. Could never be a model for you.
DRAWER
Hmmm... True. Never thought of that.
CD
You see? Besides, you're 38. Perfect age to find yourself a pretty one. A younger one. A model one. That should help your career, and your life.
DRAWER
You should be a career advisor, not a writer!
CD
You think? Hmmm...
Sunday, 21 February 2016
Black Hole - my version
'My Saturday was going pretty well until I realised it was Sunday.'
Just read this, and realised it never really happened to me.
Never.
Yes, I sometimes had this moments when waking up, still half asleep, in dreams, when I wasn't sure which day of the week is this. But it was just a second, or two. Quick look at the clock, and I was up.
With strong sense of duty, didn't let the days slip through. Always had to do something. Only when the kids era came, it became different; still full of things to do but also slightly chaotic.
I got into implementing organised but quite flexible approach. It suited the moment.
And now, I'm in this suspension; there are still lots of things to do, but they don't seem to matter as much as they used to. All of the sudden, it's more about me (hehe!:), and what I fell about it, and how I want to spent the rest of my days.
Yeah, it might be my mid-life crisis, the post mid-life, let's face it :)...
But I believe there's more. It's like a combination of awakening and deep thoughts around why. What for. and it's not about whether it is worth it, these thoughts are gone. Life is full of sense, and life is something we are given for a purpose. What is that purpose, that's the key.
So, letting the time go is ok from time to time. But it better not be the essence of one's life. Cause you can do more, and get more happy moments from that.
It is all about being selfish then, in the end...
Just read this, and realised it never really happened to me.
Never.
Yes, I sometimes had this moments when waking up, still half asleep, in dreams, when I wasn't sure which day of the week is this. But it was just a second, or two. Quick look at the clock, and I was up.
With strong sense of duty, didn't let the days slip through. Always had to do something. Only when the kids era came, it became different; still full of things to do but also slightly chaotic.
I got into implementing organised but quite flexible approach. It suited the moment.
And now, I'm in this suspension; there are still lots of things to do, but they don't seem to matter as much as they used to. All of the sudden, it's more about me (hehe!:), and what I fell about it, and how I want to spent the rest of my days.
Yeah, it might be my mid-life crisis, the post mid-life, let's face it :)...
But I believe there's more. It's like a combination of awakening and deep thoughts around why. What for. and it's not about whether it is worth it, these thoughts are gone. Life is full of sense, and life is something we are given for a purpose. What is that purpose, that's the key.
So, letting the time go is ok from time to time. But it better not be the essence of one's life. Cause you can do more, and get more happy moments from that.
It is all about being selfish then, in the end...
Saturday, 20 February 2016
The most powerful
Cast
1. Barack Obama, President of USA, age 51
2. Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, age 58
3. Vladimir Outin, President of Russia, age 60
4. Bill Gates, Co-Chair of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, age 57
5. Pope Benedict XVI, Pope of the Roman Catholic Church, age 85
6. Ben Bernanke, Chair of the US Federal Reserve, age 59
7. Abdullah bin Abdulaziz al Saud, Kind of Saudi Arabia, age 88
8. Mario Draghi, President of the European Central Bank, age 65
9. XI Jinping, General Secretary of the Communist Party of China, age 59
10. David Cameron, Prime Minister of the U.K., age 46
11. Carlos Slim Helu, Chairman of the Carlos Slim Foundation, age 72
12. Sonia Gandhi, President of the Indian National Congress, age 66
13. Li Keqiang, Vice-Premier of the People's Reoublic of China, age 57
14. Francois Holland, President of France, age 58
15. Warren Buffett, CEO of the Berkshire Hathaway, age 82
16. Michael Bloomberg, Mayor of the New York City, age 70
17. Michael T. Duke, CEO of Walmart, age 63
18. Dilma Rousseff, President of Brasil, age 65
19. Manmohan Singh, Prime Minister of India, age 80
20. Sergey Brin & Larry Page, Co-founders of Google, age 39
Set - at the space
All 20 actors floating around the Earth in space, in their space suits, linked to the spaceship which landed on the Moon. Everyone is angry, irritated, and look unhappy.
SONIA GANDHI
how could they do this to me, who let this happen in the first place, I don't understand what I'm doing here
DAVID CAMERON
this is completely not in line with our recent approach to openness and liaison with the European Union. Me hanging here helplessly together with other most influential people in the world, that's just highly inappropriate, and equally unbelievable
SERGEY BRIN & LARRY PAGE
(Talking unisono)
We actually googled it. We put 'why are we here?', and the result was the answer. It's the play's author 20th high-school final exams anniversary. Exactly 20 years ago, in 1996, she passed all her exams, and decided to go to university. Should she went for world exploration option, she would most probably be one of us here, hanging around, in celebration of another play's author's 20th anniversary
VLADIMIR PUTIN
(Smiling)
Wot, dziewoczka, molodiec
MICHAEL BLOOMBERG
What did he say???
DILMA ROUSSEFF
He's admiring her.
(All look at her in astonishment)
What? I've been learning Russian all my life. Always wanted to be part of Russian folk band, but never made it - different beliefs, different skin Colour, different attitude to life...
MICHAEL T. DUKE
Pity - unfulfilled dreams are usually dealt with in my company pretty good. This time, even I'm helpless.
POPE FRANCIS
Don't loose hope, Michael, it's not good for you
MICHAEL T. DUKE
I said helpless, not hopeless. HELPLESS!!!
POPE FRANCIS
I see. Yes, the situation is quite difficult. We can always pray, but that is lame here, it won't let us out and back to Earth.
(All look at her in astonishment)
What? I've been learning youth slang for the past few years. All to make youngsters come back. To us. Exactly where they, and their money, should belong.
MICHAEL T. DUKE
I've never in a million years expected me to say this, but being in space is funny as hell.
POPE FRANCIS
Couldn't agree more, Michael... Couldn't agree more...
.......
1. Barack Obama, President of USA, age 51
2. Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, age 58
3. Vladimir Outin, President of Russia, age 60
4. Bill Gates, Co-Chair of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, age 57
5. Pope Benedict XVI, Pope of the Roman Catholic Church, age 85
6. Ben Bernanke, Chair of the US Federal Reserve, age 59
7. Abdullah bin Abdulaziz al Saud, Kind of Saudi Arabia, age 88
8. Mario Draghi, President of the European Central Bank, age 65
9. XI Jinping, General Secretary of the Communist Party of China, age 59
10. David Cameron, Prime Minister of the U.K., age 46
11. Carlos Slim Helu, Chairman of the Carlos Slim Foundation, age 72
12. Sonia Gandhi, President of the Indian National Congress, age 66
13. Li Keqiang, Vice-Premier of the People's Reoublic of China, age 57
14. Francois Holland, President of France, age 58
15. Warren Buffett, CEO of the Berkshire Hathaway, age 82
16. Michael Bloomberg, Mayor of the New York City, age 70
17. Michael T. Duke, CEO of Walmart, age 63
18. Dilma Rousseff, President of Brasil, age 65
19. Manmohan Singh, Prime Minister of India, age 80
20. Sergey Brin & Larry Page, Co-founders of Google, age 39
Set - at the space
All 20 actors floating around the Earth in space, in their space suits, linked to the spaceship which landed on the Moon. Everyone is angry, irritated, and look unhappy.
SONIA GANDHI
how could they do this to me, who let this happen in the first place, I don't understand what I'm doing here
DAVID CAMERON
this is completely not in line with our recent approach to openness and liaison with the European Union. Me hanging here helplessly together with other most influential people in the world, that's just highly inappropriate, and equally unbelievable
SERGEY BRIN & LARRY PAGE
(Talking unisono)
We actually googled it. We put 'why are we here?', and the result was the answer. It's the play's author 20th high-school final exams anniversary. Exactly 20 years ago, in 1996, she passed all her exams, and decided to go to university. Should she went for world exploration option, she would most probably be one of us here, hanging around, in celebration of another play's author's 20th anniversary
VLADIMIR PUTIN
(Smiling)
Wot, dziewoczka, molodiec
MICHAEL BLOOMBERG
What did he say???
DILMA ROUSSEFF
He's admiring her.
(All look at her in astonishment)
What? I've been learning Russian all my life. Always wanted to be part of Russian folk band, but never made it - different beliefs, different skin Colour, different attitude to life...
MICHAEL T. DUKE
Pity - unfulfilled dreams are usually dealt with in my company pretty good. This time, even I'm helpless.
POPE FRANCIS
Don't loose hope, Michael, it's not good for you
MICHAEL T. DUKE
I said helpless, not hopeless. HELPLESS!!!
POPE FRANCIS
I see. Yes, the situation is quite difficult. We can always pray, but that is lame here, it won't let us out and back to Earth.
(All look at her in astonishment)
What? I've been learning youth slang for the past few years. All to make youngsters come back. To us. Exactly where they, and their money, should belong.
MICHAEL T. DUKE
I've never in a million years expected me to say this, but being in space is funny as hell.
POPE FRANCIS
Couldn't agree more, Michael... Couldn't agree more...
.......
DNA IN YOUR BONE
DNA
No one really knows how old he is; there are some theories, never proved completely though, some say he's always reborn with every single human being, others believe he's the one just modified slightly for any newborn
He's smart. He's string. He knows he needs to survive.
SIR CAN
Minister in the ministry of biology; recently involved in the project around genetically modified products. He has a secret weapon no one knows about. Until they call his name first, and then his title...
JUPITER
He's really old, as old as the Roman mythology. No one knows how he made it until now, and thanks to his incredible abilities to disguise, no one is aware of that and no one cares, really.
Works as a secretary for the Can.
Scene 1, the Secretary of the Miknistry of Biology, Jupiter sitting at his desk, phone in front of him. He's looking at the map of Italy, smiles to himself.
The phone rings. Jupiter picks it up. As usual, he never introduces himself, waiting for the caller to start.
- Hello, this is DNA.
- The Who?
- NA. I'm calling to discuss the next GM project the Ministry of Biology decided to pass through the Parliament. It's important to get my point of view before passing it anywhere. I'm the source of very crucial data.
- Ok. Thanks. I guess it's sir Can you need to speak to. He's in charge of this project. Let me see whether he is available at the moment. Hold on. I mean, hold the line.
- Great, yes, thank you.
...
Scene 2, Can's office. Huge metal rotten desk, metal chair with unusually twisted legs, reminding human bones but very awkwardly shaped.
Phone rings, Can picks it up, and waits for the caller to speak:
- Can?
- Yep, it's me. What's up, Jup?
- How many times do I need to remind you my name's Jupiter.
- And I'm sir, you never seem to remember that either.
- ok, Can, sir. There's someone who wishes to speak to you. DNA.
- The who?
- NA. He seem to know a lot about genetics. It's about your recent project, you know.
- ok, let him in.
Scene 3, DNA room. Everything is in ideal order, and there is barely any furniture. Red sofa, drop shaped in really bloody red Colour. DNA is sitting on the sofa, with his smartfon at his ear. He's relaxed but stressed at the same time, very unusual combination.
- hello, sir Can, I'm so happy to finally have a chance to meet you. We never had a chance to talk before but...
- It's Can, sir, actually, the NA.
- cancer? Really? Hmmmm....
- yes, Can sir. Nothing unusual.
- yes, sure, sure.
- you wanted to add some important information about my recent genetics initiative?
- yes... I mean, no, actually, I'm terribly sorry, I didn't. Sorry for taking your time. Got to go, bye.
Scene 4, Can's office again. Can stares at the phone, looks puzzled.
Talks to himself:
- what an unusual man. The NA. The NA... Hmm...
Suddenly he stands up, runs to the door, end it and shouts:
- guards! Stop him - that DNA guy. It's our only chance to make the GM project successful!
Friday, 19 February 2016
First date
Apple
Golden delicious, of regular shape, slightly greener on one side
Chocolate
Dark bar (75% cocoa), with a picture of a castle on the packaging
Waiter
At the restaurant, few tables in a French bistro kind of place, almost identical to the 'Allo, Allo' setting. People sitting at the tables, talking. At the centre - one table two chairs candle on the table. Chairs occupied by Apple and Chocolate.
Apple (A)
I'm so happy you invited me here! Looks like my kind of place. There are lots of apples there on display, I feel so much at joke here.
Chocolate (C)
Yes, although I find it awkward there's barely any chocolate. We're so delicious... You'll see for yourself.
A: but we're healthier
C: who cares? We only live once
A: (looking confused) but... But... It's better to live healthier and longer then ...
C: yeah, with no inspiring tastes to try, really
A: you find me uninspiring?!?
C: all I'm saying is I'm a definition of pleasure and indulgence. You're a definition of a non-pharmaceutical approach to life, and a way to stay away from doctors.
A: that's so unfair if you to say! We speed things up! You are the one who slow things down.
C: slow is good
A: not when your health is at stake
C: quick doesn't always mean right though
A: time is everything
C: no, it's not. Quality is everything.
A: you find I'm not of the best quality? You don't know me at all, how can you even think that!
C: that's not what I said...
A: ha! And now you're denying your own words. Seriously. Why don't we just order some food instead. And refrain from talking dot a while.
C: great, cool, let's do that
They look around. Waiter comes over.
Waiter (W)
Should you like to order?
A: yes, please. Can I have a glass of red wine, and... What desserts do you recommend?
C: are we not eating main course?
A: no. Speeding things up, remember? That's me.
W: we're most famous of our delicious apple tart and...
A: what!?! (Stands up, looks at the C) What?!? I'm leaving! (Walks away, stops at the front door, turns around, and yells) Murderers!!!
.....................
Never sit on a ...
Mayfly 1
We only live 1 day. Darling, remember to enjoy every second to the full.
Mayfly 2
Don't let others fool you. Be inquisitive and bright
Mayfly 3
Have courage to discover new things
Mayfly 4
Be beautiful inside out
Mayfly 5
Never sit on a Fae...
Apple a day
These past few days have been all about apples. Tasty, sweet, juicy, delicious fruits - perfection.
For as long as I remember, I liked apples. Eaten straight from a tree, just cleaned with a cotton cloth, or - better still - just wiped against a T-shirt... Sun-kissed, still warm, and soft - the greatest childhood memories one could have.
The best cake I have ever tasted was the apple pie my grandma used to make. The smell of baked fruits, clear and strong, meant everything: hugs, cosy evenings with family, playing cards, talking, laughing - my definition of safe and comfortable.
Funny how that has influenced my life choices.
Kitchens with apples meant people living there were my kind of people, the ones I could feel safe and comfortable with.
We like people who like what we like. Simple.
Sometimes, apples turn out to be the only link, though. And that is not enough.
Still, if I see apples in someone's kitchen, that makes me smile. And the smell of apples is my definition of a safe and comfortable place. Like home.
For as long as I remember, I liked apples. Eaten straight from a tree, just cleaned with a cotton cloth, or - better still - just wiped against a T-shirt... Sun-kissed, still warm, and soft - the greatest childhood memories one could have.
The best cake I have ever tasted was the apple pie my grandma used to make. The smell of baked fruits, clear and strong, meant everything: hugs, cosy evenings with family, playing cards, talking, laughing - my definition of safe and comfortable.
Funny how that has influenced my life choices.
Kitchens with apples meant people living there were my kind of people, the ones I could feel safe and comfortable with.
We like people who like what we like. Simple.
Sometimes, apples turn out to be the only link, though. And that is not enough.
Still, if I see apples in someone's kitchen, that makes me smile. And the smell of apples is my definition of a safe and comfortable place. Like home.
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