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Tuesday, 27 December 2016

La beaute

Freedom is my favourite song. Everything about that song clicks. The lyrics, the rhythm, and the coolest video ever: with beautiful people lip syncing, letting the singer hide, and sort of flipping the whole idea of a human body being not at all about the looks. Even the kettle boiling on the radiator. Everything clicks.

It is sad to see beautiful minds go. It is sad to realise they will never create another wonderful piece. While it was a sad late night last night for me, and thoughtful and sad day today, the youngsters made it bearable.

I was putting my darkest lipstick on this morning. In sync with my mood, and a with small mirror in one hand, the rich red wine colour in the other. This is how my mini man saw me. He came, looked and said 'let me see', pointing at the mirror. So I handed it to him. He looked at the reflection in the mirror without concern (unlike his mum did for quite some time until quite some time). After all 3 seconds of thorough examination he said 'beautiful' quietly, handed me the mirror back, and walked away. Secure and confident. No second thoughts. Beautiful indeed.

'That is the problem with being beautiful', said LMSP, now 8, few hours later, when we were watching a movie (low key and quiet approach to Xmas this year, out of necessity but turned out good; calm and peaceful but good). 'Everybody likes you. And you get a lot of attention. Which is silly. You're not nice just because you're beautiful. You're nice when you're kind. It's all about the behaviour'. While my NLP course tells me it is not necessarily true (we are much more than our behaviour), I managed to keep the 'I know better and you are wrong, missy' approach shut.

Beautiful means full of beauty. All sorts of beauty. Among other things.
And it is great to know you don't have to be old to realise that.

Saturday, 17 December 2016

Humbility, really?

There is a thin line between being modest and annoyingly shy. To the point that it is no longer sincere, rather theatrical.

Yet, I keep hearing how humble you should be when you are leading. When you are mentoring. When you are listening.

That is wrong. When you are trying to fight back your silly habit of devaluing yourself, getting advice to stay modest is the worst one can give you. Trust me, I know:)

Snails have this amazing ability to hide when things don't go their way. For as long as I remember, I was finding that feature fascinating. Starting from cosy little house carried around with them at all times, to the fact there was no unnecessary accessories (never my thing, I like pretty little things however impractical they might be, but trying to stay below the clutter level, which is not so easy sometimes:), to the fact that snails to me are this mixture of lazy self-awareness and powerful self-confidence. Time is not their enemy.

And in that sense, I feel that leaders should be taught how to be snails rather than how to be humble. To know that slowing down is good. To get rid of unnecessary gimmicks. To respect others and go their way. To feel that hiding sometimes is the best you can do. As long as it is your environment and your people you are hiding with, creating that bonding and appreciation of skills gathered in one place.

Snails are cool:)

Thursday, 8 December 2016


They were all there: a group of semi-related, semi-friendly people, stuck with each other against their will at the Christmas table, keeping up appearances, pretending to be a one big happy family. 
Awkward silence seemed the be the only companion for all.
Suddenly, a 4-year old Nick pointed at the window: 'Look at the moon! Can we please go and see the moon?
In an instant, that sounded like the best idea ever. Even the 85-year old Matilda went outside, not bothering to look for a pair of matching gloves.

They were all there: staring at the huge satellite, not talking, waiting for magic to happen.

And it did.

Thursday, 1 December 2016

Change is the only constant

So why am I so afraid of it? When does the fear stop? Does it ever?

Last evening the sky looked like if some promising impressionist laddered herself :) up and splashed a perfect combination of blue, purple, and pink right above. Amazing. And it made me think how colours differ from one minute to another. And we don't really see that unless we stop and look up.

We have been looking up a lot, lately, my kids and I. Which is a good thing. The best, really. It makes all of us think about what we are doing here, why are we here. Even the little one seems to be in the thoughtful mood sometimes, provided that there is a secured supply of chocolate cookies available at short distance and in no time. 

They say when you love someone, you should invest in your feelings, or the love will stop, and bitterness will come instead. And I guess that is true no matter who your loved one is. While we still fight from time to time, while we are in the process of constant learning about each others, while the neighbour sends us polite letters informing he can indeed hear little feet thumping from as early as 'six am in the morning' (the double effect there shows how truly disturbing they feel, and rightly so...), in the middle of all of this we are constantly changing, growing, and improving (or this is just my inaccurate version of the real things happening, but that is another story - who can truly say one's version is the real one anyway).

So there is no need to fear. Unless you are that guy from Amelie who could crack into pieces the minute he would let go of any of his hundreds of pillows installed on every possible corner of every single piece of furniture, equipment, and tool available in his flat. I hope and wish you are not.