When you look for sth here

Monday, 30 June 2014

Pleasing all and controlling all

Apparently (that is a sarcasm; I know very well what I am about to say is totally true...) I am a fairy with a broken wand. There is no other logical explanation.
This afternoon we headed to Kensington Gardens to experience the surprisingly entertaining family festival (we knew nothing about it beforehand), see the Palace (lovely, 'not as beautiful as Wilanow, but actually they also have Buckingham here' - short review by Adam:_), and be surprised - again - by the monstrously expensive meal (the service was great though, provided mainly by Polish representatives, which made me somehow proud and glad :_).

Again, I tried to make every single family member happy, and I failed several times. All minor things really; one of them was pleasing my husband with latte while he has been drinking black coffee for good few months now. I definitely know how to show I care and observe, not mentioning the fact I know best who likes what. Treating Zosia with too many sweets and expecting her to be delighted with the afternoon tea (the dearest sandwiches I ever ate; 'oh, stop, don't complain, at least we are not wet'; did I mention we were caught by several showers outside of the palace?:_) Finally, making the little one completely exhausted and falling asleep on our way back. No, wait - that was actually a good thing.

And the car, a hybrid chosen due to several reasons, major one being an encouraging tax rate, which was behaving quite fussy lately, didn't break! (Forgot to add, we were totally green and reasonable, travelling by car to the very city centre, while we could have chosen a vast network of public transport. Ok, there was no 'we' here. It was me who persuaded my husband to do that.)

I managed to let go throughout the day, fortunately, which is the only justification for the fact that Zosia told me she likes me very very very much, when she was falling asleep (That, and the sweets I guess:_). Priceless.

Saturday, 28 June 2014

Not enough game in the game

The best review I ever heard. By my husband. This evening.
I guess you could apply that to soooo many things in life.


Out of loneliness there may come a great discovery, or a pitiful sorrow, depending on how strong your inner me is.
I would like to be more alone. I mean, I enjoy motherhood, I really do, but ...:)

Then again, I recall one week, 2 years ago, or so, when I had my daughter with her grandparents on a short summer break, Adam was in the mountains, biking, hiking and chilling, and I was at work 9ish-5, and had all the time in the world to be on my own.
That felt awful. Even though I restored my social skills during 1 or 2 informal meetings in the evenings, I visited my aunt, I went through a thorough thinking on where I am, what I am doing, is it the right place that I am in (something, I strongly believe that, anyone should be doing on a regular basis as not to get stuck and keep going in line with one's mantra/beliefs/personal goals). That is, I did all the things I used to do more often when I was a girl. Ages ago. ;))
Still, it all didn't feel right. I missed our morning discussions why should we be heading off to preschool, why a sleeveless summer dress is great, but not exactly an appropriate solution for a chilly July morning with stormy clouds and lashing rain, my sincere efforts to meet high expectations in terms of a pretty, yet comfy hair-do, and so on. Not mentioning, I missed my husband. That was one of the longer periods we were apart after we were married.

It looks like there is actually no hunger for solitude in me.
I guess I knew it all the time. I just hid that under a snug blanket of complaints and laments.

Self-pity is so easy to apply. No rocket science, barely any action required. All you need to do is pour your bad mood onto others, making sure their days pass with no fun at all. I tried that technique more than once. It works no more than once. And on a short-term basis. Not worth it.

Friday, 27 June 2014

Change and flexibility

For some time now, I know change is good. It helps you grow, develop your qualities, test yourself and your ability to adjust actions and planning, preferably in a reverse order.

I hate changes. That sounds particularly odd, coming from me, as I have already changed adresses more than an average human being did, not mentioning exposing our daughter to the limits, making her test any adapting skills she may have gained in a relatively short period of time.
It is hard. Many people, including members of my family, have asked me the 'why?' question.
Do you really need this? Is it really necessary? Do you not want your children to feel secure and cosy, surrounded by familiar faces and places?
I guess I don't. I don't need this, I may be looking for the eternal sunshine elsewhere instead of focusing on finding happiness and security within. In short, I am selfish.
Then again, the world outside is so tempting, with all the different approaches, attitudes, interested and possibilities to explore. In short again, I am a searcher.
I guess I do follow that desire to know more from my own experience, not just read about it.

Sometimes though, I forget about it, and move towards whining. I am a grumbler.

When you are not alone in the world, these phases of discontentment fortunately tend to get shorter. Your social responsibilities towards your closed ones make you feel more grounded.

I just read my notes. I am a selfish grumbler, searching for something despite having changes.
In other words, I like to focus on my needs and expectations, I am critical towards the environment, I am curious and like to keep things as they are.

Thursday, 26 June 2014


I like how kids can bring on their creativity in an instant.
This morning, when we were walking to school, we started talking about the weather (casual intro you would usually turn on before any business conference call in a multinational corporation; totally appropriate when talking to your child).
As it was quite chilly, I started with 'what it would be like if mummy wore a pair of knee high socks, just like yours'. Within a minute, I was completely dressed up in a dark blue, glittery maxi dress, with matching shoes. I guess only dogs in the garden near by saved me from a pair of wings, and a wand (Zosia always likes to say hello and bye to them, 'because otherwise they would be sad, you know').
And then we were singing a song she created (i.e. I was to sing after her. Each line. Out loud;))).
And it felt great:)

I like being more childlike sometimes. It is fun. And it allows me to connect with my daughter much quicker, without moaning, or 'oh, mum!', or 'really now, please' (her favourite quote for Q1 2014).

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Misjudgment and back to the basics

This is to note a remarkable thing that happened to me yesterday morning, and earlier on today.
A mum, who I thought is completely disgusted with my behaviour (a reaction to her unfinished hair-do when there was this pourring rain the other day), actually spoke to me!
She was asking how Zosia was doing, seeing her little scar on the left cheek, and talked to me for a while about fears we share. Fears for our children (her boy is in the same class as Zosia), how we want to protect them from any accidents, but obviously we cannot.
Then, today, she told me about an oil I could use on Zosia's face to make sure she has no 'token' on her face as she gets older. I was soo grateful, and still am. Not only because she started a conversation, but also, because she shared great piece of advice with me. That was absolutely wonderful!

And I thought about the gratitude then, and how reciprocity really works; it is easter to be kind to others when they share positive feelings with us.

On a related note, I think we should be reading children's books more often.
Yesterday, at bedtime, there was this great quote in Zosia's book: it is good to help others, as sometimes they can help us back. With no hypocrisy, just a self-explanatory approach suggested in a simple and short way.
Talking about short, this is something I should definitely master. There is a vast room for improvement there, no doubt about that ...;)

Monday, 23 June 2014

Play with me

When you hear your little daughter saying this to you, with a really 'please, please' darling face, you know you're in trouble. First of all, because you want to squeeze few operational things in that very minute. Second of all, because you don't want her to feel dissapointed with you (again; let's face it, it would not be the first time you say you can spent some time with her later). Finally, because you would like to make everyone happy, bar yourself.
Now, the scenario can be two-folded here: you either do everything and are exhausted, or you prioritise and choose which is best in that very minute.
I went for the latter, resulting in a happy little face as we played card games Zosia invented ('nothing too complicated, it will be quick, mum, you will see' were her words, which only broke my heart and actually made me realised how hungry for 'our time' she was).

The pile of things is waiting patiently for tomorrow's little one's mid-morning nap. ;))

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Just like me!:))

We went for a stroll, aiming to find admiral Nelson's house. It was OK, in a narrow street, hidden behind few other old houses.
On our way back 2 women passed us by, one of them being my age, with suitcases - apparently on their ways somewhere. Suddenly, she stopped, put her tote bag on the sidewalk, and started taking everything out on the ground. Apparently, she was looking for something. She seemed a bit nervous, but giggled at the same time, as it looked a bit funny, and despite the stress she was going through she noticed that.
I could only say to her I felt like looking into the mirror. It was 2 days ago when I looked everywhere for my door keys, only to find out they were safely tucked in a completely random place, i.e. in my trouser's pocket.
What happens when we do something we are not accustomed to. Shortcuts are blocked, brain is suddenly exposed to counless options, and we realise memory can play tricks we could hardly imagine (however ironic that sounds...).

Saturday, 21 June 2014

Good old wooden games

We went to Greenwich this afternoon, just another lazy Saturday time with a view to get kids exhausted at the playground, and enjoy the weather.
Surprisingly, we found ourselves in a middle of the GDIF (Greenwich+Docklands International Festival), with lots of things going on, and much more people we would expect.
But it was great. There was 15+ old wooden games installed outside the Naval College, most of them reminding me of 18th century ways to amuse sophisticated aristocracy, and their completely blasé decendants. 

This time though, they were a neverending source of fun for all the children gathered there. You could see a relief in parents eyes also. I really enjoyed the time spent there. It was a perfect antidote to iPad games;)))


Zosia recently started using the word 'stupid'. Like if she discovered it, and decided everything deserves to be called stupid. While I don't want to make too much fuss about it (we are already after the 'f' word phase), I just tried to explain to her she shouldn't be overusing it, as someone may feel offended when she says e.g. at school that his picture is stupid.
My semi-pedagogical approach resulted in limiting the usage to her, and her things only. :( not very successful ...
Then we had another talk, where I told her she is not at all stupid because she understands what she hears (although sometimes pretends not to, but that is what everybody is doing from time to time, age regardless), she communicates (sometimes much louder than necessary, again, like we all do from time to time), she laughs and crirs, depending on a situation. In short, looks like her brain is ok. Therefore, she is not stupid.
Now, she says it, not as often though. Usually in the mornings, when 'stupid shoes' don't want to find her feet ;))
There. That was difficult.
Self awareness at the age of 5 struggles with the 'Look at me' phase, and the emerging comparison phase at school. That is, however, much influenced by parents (i.e. ambitious mothers and fathers, who wish to pour their unfulfilled dreams in their kids' little heads, usually to the detriment to all). I try to avoid that, but then again I don't want my children to be lame ducks.
It's tricky to find the balance.
(Actually, I could apply that quote to any aspect of my life...)

Friday, 20 June 2014

Measuring time

'This cheese tastes similar to the one I ate at grandma's, long time ago, when I was very little' said Zosia last evening during dinner time. For the record, the aforementioned cheese tasting with my parents took place less than 3 months ago, in April this year.
Her blunt statement made me realised how time measurement and time appreciation change when we get older. I mean I have known about relativity for some time now; Zosia just put it in my face all of the sudden:))
When we are little, 20 minutes break between sea jumps sounds like eternity (that's me being 8 years old, or so, first time at the sea; my parents wanted to make sure I am ok, and not caughing on a first day, so they made me lay down for a there of an hour before I could jump in again; as I said: eternity). When we are teenagers, the magic of adulthood seems to be miles away. When we grow up, the time suddenly starts to fly, and we want to slow it down...

Thursday, 19 June 2014

Twinkle, twinkle ...

Looks like I need a training on capturing my mini audience attention ...


I am not promoting Taylor Swift's single here (although I think she could have ended up much worse with her transition from country to pop on this one). This is about me (so much about others).

I hate to be a trouble to anyone. Even when it is only their twisted perception of things, and I am not to be blamed. I guess there is this combination of modesty limiting my abilities, and the fact of being taught at school not to do too much (in other words, being too exceptional and creative meant being a trouble; I don't blame the schools I attended; it was the whole education system, and the fact that I was being told thousands of details which are completely useless in life, together with only few things that let me be a better person, and helped me later on).
Today I felt that way, when I was asking a headteacher whether my husband could come and see the exact place where Zosia had her accident. Earlier I wanted to take pictures, but they did it for me and gave me the prints which were quite dark, and you couldn't really see much. Both then and now, I  was afraid of who knows what to stand and say I am not ok with that. Why? It is my family here that is on stake, not some irrelevant stuff of a hysterical middle-aged woman (regardless of the fact I am one sometimes...). The headteacher seemed a little irritated, maybe only in my mind's eyes, I am not sure, but we set a meeting for tomorrow, as 'any parent can review the environment', she said.
While I am writing all this, I start to think I am over sensitive. Ha!
I have to say though both teachers and nurse in Zosia's class are extremely supportive, and understandable. They seem to see through incredibly well, and give advice on what to do to calm 5-year old strong willed and wonderful little girl, with hundreds of ideas per minute...;)

Lesson learnt: post-analysis helps to keep emotions in place when they blurr the image.


What would I do without you.
In order to hear that from your husband something extraordinary must be happening in your happily ever after life.;) The level of uncommonness is determined by few factors, including: amount of time you live together, usual way of expressing feelings and emotions to each other, and atmospheric pressure (or something equally abstract which can justify a bad moment / hour / day, depending on a situation). 
In our case, the car broke down. At night. In the middle of a motoroute. On the way home.
Until recently I was not aware you can buy a breakdown cover after an incident, provided that it happens on the same day. Equally, I could have hardly imagined myself providing payment details over the phone to a stranger (technically, car insurance call centre representative; still, she was a stranger). And this is me, slightly twisted in terms of securing data and sharing confidential information (writing this blog is obviously not a proof of my inconsistency, not at all.)

Sudden stressful situations and challenges we are facing in everyday life seem to tighten a family. Nothing unusual here though.  A pack of wolves will fearlessly fight an enemy. And when not in danger, they might easily try to knock out each other (I am not too sure about the wolves though. Something tells me they are actually not so brutal to themselves. Not sure).
Knocking out each other in our family goes down to, fortunately;), a set of minor arguments (Zosia, it's time to get up, come on: x 7), or discussions on which type of food is good for you.
I find it pretty unusual that children's tummies have this marvelous ability to fit one type of food when the other is just too much to bear. 'Mummy, I am full. I can not eat any more.' 'Ok, so your dessert will have to wait till tomorrow then?' 'Oh, no, I will eat the dessert. I am full but there is a tiny little space left for sweets.'
Children's logic. Priceless.

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Let there be love

I admire people who can reveal emotions through their work. I am still too shy to do that. Then again, this blog I just started proves the complete opposite. Hmm ...
I wish all the people that know me would be slightly in love with me. Not in a sensual sense, but in as 'like me' sense. Which is truly insane, and profoundly impossible. The hanger for admiration, appreciation, and sympathy is on the one hand pathetic, on the other though - it just shows how weird a person may become with no friends around. I am far from self-pity here (at least, this time;). It is all my fault. Not self-confident enough, lazy, not caring for close colleagues on a regular basis results in social loneliness. That's just how things go.
However I believe there is almost always (that combination of words sounds teenagery and surreal) a space for improvement in maintaining relationships. Unless there is a complete lack of goodwill, things can turn out better (that brilliant autocorrect just tried to convince me I wanted to say 'bitter'... How appropriate).
All you need is love. How simple. How hard to find. What a cliche I am today...

Monday, 16 June 2014

Commuting words

I recently read a lot about talking.
Just read my sentence above, and it made me laugh. Reading about talking sounds a bit like watching tennis rather than finally start playing (which is something I wanted for a long time; not being desperate enough though to actually stop thinking and start doing)...
Anyway, the talking includes conversation and public speaking. Which does not apply to me often now. Long gone seem to be the days when I was actually involved in presentations, in a business environment.
But over the weekend I found my notes from a great communication and public speaking training I attended. There were few such courses actually, but one was well-worth remembering, at least for me.
There were these tips on how to keep your audience interested, how to make them like to hear what you say, and want to listen to you more, and how to keep yourself calm.
I realised all of the above perfectly applies to everyday life conversations with your kids.

Patience, understanding, and flexibility are crucial. And looks like I knew about it for quite a long time, either through the before-mentioned training, or subconsciously (let's face it, everyone - well, nearly everyone - is genious sometimes, myself included;). So why can't I apply these more often???...

Friday, 13 June 2014

Stretching - bitter with a pinch of sweet

This is not about relaxing muscles after an intense training in a gym (when was the last time I've been there?;). This is about crossing the boundaries when living. And sometimes failing.

How to judge whether something bad happens because someone seriously didn't do what he was supposed to, or this is just a result of bad luck. No, that is wrong, I don't believe in such things as bad luck. I believe things happen to you as a result of your own behaviour. If you are mean, that 'meanness' comes back to you. The term bad luck is a shallow excuse to your own 'misdoings'.

Instead of bad luck then, how to judge something bad that happens because you are just your own shadow, juggling thousand things at a time?
Bad time management.

Enjoy every minute of your life, there will never be another one like that, they say. Be happy, support others who need that support, don't walk away from another one's misery, they say. Keep fit, stay thin, or they will find you inattractive, sloppy, and not keeping up with trends. Be unique and show your USP as everyone is different.
What if all these things around make it really hard to live, feel happy from time to time, and not stuck with your credit card as the only mean to eternal satisfaction and balance, as that is what they are actually trying to make you feel.

Today my thoughts are floating around several things at a time (ok, isn't that just a usual human way? Looks like my goal to limit modesty has already been accomplished, with less effort that I could ever imagine...). And ability to focus is beyond achievement. Let it be.

Thursday, 12 June 2014

Appreciation and disapproval

With both kids having their rather unexpected afternoon nap (which took me completely by surprise), I just realised my world does revolve around me. I had this sudden panic moment, not knowing what to do. Fortunately, There's Internet.
But seriously, when did it happen? That feeling of anxiety and fear there might be nothing to do (in fact, there is laundry waiting to be taken care of; documents requirying filing and review, maybe even in a reverse order, and probably a ten or so minor things to do. And my nails! I could have them polished;). Looks like I should always do sth to avoid feeling needless.
My family, despite being No1 (my husband, although not mentioned earlier, included), is not appreciated as much as they should be. Sad but true.
Becoming aware of things is a good thing; let it be the first, not the only one of my reflections / new strategy for life.
Criticism. I think it surrounds me too much. My ability to see a glass half full seems to be snowed under planning errands, and my always challenged ability to organise tasks (in other words, how not to get late for Zosia's school and sleep more). But today everyone is critical. And everyone, and everything should be perfect. Or as close to perfection as possible. Sad but true.
Still, that shouldn't be my excuse...

Wednesday, 11 June 2014


I just saw a make-up tutorial from Charlotte Tilbury where she said sth like 'make-up is power'.
While I appreciate her strategy, and kind of admire (would I ever applied make-up, and that is a full make-up, twice a day, and had it always on my face? Laziness in me sadly wins here with a definite: NO. Sadly as my inner vanity wouldn't mind a bit of inner beauty popping out once in a while), I see through the need for buying stuff. Always.
This came to me this afternoon, when Zosia told me that I am always shopping. Because I had to complete the grocery shopping list when we were playing together, which is unforgivable, and I admit I was wrong doing so.
She is right. I think a lot about buying a lot: food, clothes for children, toys, beauty products for me (like if that could indeed make me a respectful goddess. Really now, Please... )
To stop following the disastrous consumery path I played with her continuously for the next 15 minutes. For anyone with the kids, It's quite all right.
And later today, I ended up with CT and her make-up. Consistency, Please come back!!! ;))

Tuesday, 10 June 2014

Strawberries and peek-a-boo

Today Zosia stayed at home; second day in a row. Her eyes caught some minor infection, and were slowly recovering, via salted water and eye drops prescribed by a GP.
It was a good day; we played peek-a-boo with Julek, who absolutely loved it, 'finding' us when we were 'hiding';). Then we went for a little shopping and came back with fresh and juicy strawberries and raspberries; the latter was gone in flashes of flashes (as Mr Bean said in Love Actually, my cheer-up movie for a gloomy November day), and their happy faces and clothes covered in red juice were simply priceless.

I am starting to discover the beauty of simple moments. You don't have to conquer the world to have all that matters: love, understanding, trust, and happiness (which is never a constant state; just a collection of seconds).

Let there be as many of these seconds as one can bear;)))

Monday, 9 June 2014

Resentfulness and jealousy

I wonder if anyone else finds it sometimes extremely difficult not to be envy. I did today. 

I was looking at my neighbours, sitting relaxed on their balcony, talking, winding down after a very warm day. While I was fighting with my exceptionally active toddler and trying to avoid a fall from the balcony door he tried to conquer with consistency and perseverance I should borrow from him sometimes. And trying not to raise my voice, where I almost succeeded :)

Being jealous is not socially acceptable. But being resentful is OK in general. Who is then to tell where is the line between what is fair, and what is not? When I get annoyed with some people smoking cigarettes when we pass-by, is it me caring for my little ones, or me wishing I could be them, i.e. smokers with brain covered in ashes;) ? (Which is silly, I never wanted to be a tobacco slave, and so far I haven't been. But I am talking about a purely hypothetic ability to do things. Hope it makes sense.)

If all in the world is related, and there is no such thing as objective opinion, how to properly define political correctness?

I seem to be all questions tonight...

Sunday, 8 June 2014

Addicted to Kindle

'I keep on reading this newspaper you brought, and when there are words I don't understand, I want to  click on them and check what they mean in a dictionary. I wish I could do that, just like on Kindle. It is helpless that way.' True. I cannot remember last time I checked a word in a traditional dictionary. And I recall we used to do that, or use encyclopedias, back at home, a lot. 
Is it oblivious to say hardly anybody uses printed reference books these days? 
(My father would be one example to contradict that; he is hovewer an exceptional man in general)

Saturday, 7 June 2014

Expectations and prejudices

I thought of it recently a little bit more than usual. I guess expectations are like a curse to me. They seem to overwhelm my instincts, not always - that would be dreadful - but sometimes.
Like today, when I was trying to convince my daughter she should think over her behaviour: her stamping feet as a reaction to what I wanted her to do. I completely neglected the fact she is not even 6 years old, and may sometimes feel tired, or bored, with something else, and my words are just too much in that very minute. I am far from admiring stubborness. I just think I should not be so ambitious with her. And sometimes let her go. It might work much better.
Prejudices, on the other hand, are quite useful to me. They are an easy shortcut for my mind, which is great when you have minutious tasks to do, and are expected to show attention to both your children at the very same minute. They can hurt, too (prejudices, not children, at least I feel that way). Not directly, but they might lead to unfavourable misjudgment of someone's behaviour.
Like the other day, when I laughed when another mum told me, she was just having her hair done, and there was this lashing rain, so she said no to a blow-dry. It sounded a little bit funny, but it was right before we were picking our kids from school, we were both completely soaked, and me laughing was simply showing her support and understandable. Ok, so maybe it is not that simple, my empathy obviously did suffer in that lashing rain that day, I didn't think it could make her feel bad. Result is she is ignoring my hello now, as she probably finds me shallow, stupid, and completely self-centered. There. I just made another assumption.

Thursday, 5 June 2014

Magic of reading

I just read that workers rolling cigars in Cuban factories have been one of the best educated reps of their society: there was, and sometimes still is, a reader employed to help them go through monotonous yet focus requirying job.
The power of reading.
It helped me survive teen years, which are never easy, however quiet, easy-going and well protected you may be (in my case protection was defined by a lack of siblings, wonderful grandma who I definitely underrated back then, and the fact I was living in a village with not so many occassions to let your raging hormones go; in short - haha!;) - I was a good girl). It helps my older one wind down before sleep, and that is quite a milestone, considering how moody, active and stubborn she can be (let's face it: just like her mother). It helps my little one ease the pain of growing teeth; he seems to have developped a unique ability to identify books accurate in size, thickness, and weight, for that purpose. Good for him. As long as these are not iBooks, I don't mind. It also makes my husband smile a little more; even when I envy him he can sit with his precious Kindle, while I continue my helpless fight with time during my evening skincare routine, part of me, that good girl part, is happy for him.
I should be reading more though. If only I could do with less sleep...;)

Knock on the door

I open reluctantly. Which is probably one of the reasons I don't have friends here (and by 'friends' I actually also mean colleagues, or barely known acquaintances met once or twice, or even people collecting other children from the same class as Zosia). An unnaturally happy man (now, I'm not suggesting anything here. To me he looked unnatural.) starts with: 'Hello, I am from sth (whatever) Trust. You must have heard of us.' 'No, I haven't. And I am not interested' I said, so he politely wished me a nice afternoon and went away.
When closing the door I thought I was quite mean. The guy obviously had a selling pitch ready-to-go, and I kind of stopped the rythm. Maybe he had something interesting to say?
All because of the fact he assumed I knew their organisation, when I didn't.

Assumptions. They can easily kill any good intensions.

Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Ups when travelling with a child

While it is challenging not to forget his favourites toys (brilliantly hooked to a buggy in one of few genious moments of mine), food, emergency milk portion, 2 or 3 nappies, baby wipes, and roughly a hundred other necessary things absolutely required on-the-go, there is one quite nice feature of a travel with a little one. People still tend to help you. Let you pass first and hold the unreasonably heavy doors for you (designed by very angry people obviously who never have to carry any luggage, not mentioning any type of child's mean of transport). Smile to your little one and to you, when the former seems to be loudly contemplating the nature, in a form of not necessarily undenstandable mantra with lots of 'dadadudunanayyynunaetedadatooyeaaah' and so on. They are genuinely nice to you. Or make a good impression;)
It might be they envy you. It might be they pity you. Whatever the reason, I try to benefit from it to the full.
 I discovered hovewer it doesn't come at no price. You need to be nice to others, in general, as well. Reciprocity pays off somehow:)

Tuesday, 3 June 2014


It is all around me. It starts in the mornings, with frustrated mothers who try to make it on time, raising their voices, usually unnecessary, wanting their kids to put their shoes on quicker, telling them to dress faster... Hang on, that's me. I am that desperate housewife. Obviously undercuddled;)

Today I made a commitment to myself in the middle of that little house storm. Enough is enough; no more hurrying and voice raising in the mornings. I thought we would be definitely late for school, but I accepted that. There's a first time for everything.

Surprisingly we made it on time. With no rush, we walked and talked, and even didn't miss a single little wall (Zosia loves them, as most kids do, but with her slight acrophobia I try to encourage every attempt to go a bit higher).
I am proud of my kids and myself this morning!;))

Monday, 2 June 2014

One of their first indoor activities together

No surprise the thing they did together was watching an animated movie.

It was Zosia's 1st day after her school accident, and she watched cartoons for few hours that day; we let her which was completely uneducational but at least kept her thoughts and pain away. We were reasonable enough though to take the little one away from the screen after few minutes. At least that is what I recall. It might as well be that he simply became interested with something else.

Greenwich tunnel and afterparty

Today we went to Greenwich to kind of cherish Zosia's last day of half term. It was not easy to convince her that actually it might be more interesting then her iPad games. Toddler did not protest.
Eventually we made it, everything nice and smooth, including unhealthy feeding options (chips, milkshake and plain bagels, farewell to fruits and veggies), and surprisingly highly cultural visit to Naval College and the National Maritime museum.
With yesterday's round through Museum of Docklands, I may say we broke our quarterly record in cultural entertaining by a mile...
Even when it were kids gallery and Greenwich park playground listed as the most favourites for my little ones: Zosia was more than happy, and mini man shouted with joy. :)))


Yesterday evening I came to the living room, sat on a chair and started applying serum ('youth fortifying'; what youth?;) when my husband asked me what I was doing. 'Fighting' I answered, truly and sincerely.
I tend to fight most of my days, and nights. Against age, with all the creams, serums, oils and treatments I can afford. Against dust, hoovering every 3rd day with passion and no mercy for food remains which both of my sweet little monsters tend to carelessly spread around the floor. Against my moods, and that fight is the most difficult.

Sunday, 1 June 2014

Everyday is Friday to me, i.e. why this blog

Everyday is Friday to me.
Not in this 'create a Happy awesome life' sense. It's actually: I feel after 5 days at work: exhausted, with blurry eyes, forgetting basic things ( like switching off lights when I go for a walk, which I would normally never ever miss to do).
It hit me yesterday evening, when I was at Waitrose (yes, that hidiously expensive Waitrose; they have great breads though, and a free coffee for members, something I cannot ignore), buying, you guessed, some bread, and a lollipop (Zosia was with me:), and a cashier said '2 pounds 47 please. I responded with 'Are you sure?'. 'Yes, It's Friday' she said bluntly.
And then it hit me.
There is no Friday for me. Those days of being tired after a week in the office no longer apply to me. When you are with kids, one of them a brand new toddler, you don't really see any difference between any day. It's basically Friday every day of the week. And weekends don't really change this feeling much. Ok, so we don't go to school, but still have food to prepare, runny noses to attend as the weather had been quite fussy lately, ironing board to ignore (and I used to like it, really!)
I'm not complaining (at least not now). I am generally ok with my life, and the way things are.
It is just that obedience to constant happiness everyone around is trying to throw at me, that I don't like.
There it is then. My complaint;))