Patience is a virtue I lack.
Still find myself on the strong end, and I can endure a lot - otherwise my whole parenting experience would be nothing but a nightmare, truly. Yet, the inevitable feeling of guilt comes now and again when I cannot stand another moaning, cannot hold back raised voice, cannot force myself to count to 101, if needs be, and just give a hug.
As a result, the hug comes later, after I said what I felt, or after I just turned and left the room, coming back after 5 minutes. Anything beyond 5 would be disastrous from health and safety perspective (one cannot imagine what a nearly 3-year old is capable of doing when left unattended for 300+ seconds; personal studies results include a sink filled with water to the very brim, with whole toilet paper roll floating carelessly, making the bathroom look like a mini waterfall - adorable).
But the hug always comes.
One should respect another, no matter the age.
I had a fascinating conversation recently with my long-time-no-see friend from high school. We've never really got along in our teens; not deliberately, we just happened to be hanging around different circles.
And when I accidentally met her last year, it was incredibly simple and effortless to talk for an hour. She talked, I listened. I talked, she listened. So much stuff was discussed, so many deep thoughts, it is almost unbelievable.
We met again, few weeks ago. This time we took the things seriously. One coffee, two teas, two pumpkin soups, and 5.5 hours later we were still not done with talking:).
One of the things we discussed was the duty we all seem to feel, and what my friend finds quite detrimental to one's individual thinking. The need to do things because you should do them. While I agree following the mob is not a good idea, I get desire to receive simple information, shortcuts to reassurance, and feeling of being sociably fulfilled when you follow the crowd. Rather than think on your own. It's practical, it saves time, and it keeps you cosy. But yes, it makes your thinking process rather limited most of the time. You shouldn't show your emotions, so you usually hide them - that's bad for you, too.
Last Saturday, we went for an experimental trip to the city centre. No buggy, so it was challenging right from the start. But it was so great just to use stairs rather than desperately looking for lifts, or using escalators in the most awkward and hazardous ways, with a buggy angled weirdly, and the Mini-Man getting interested in every single piece of technical equipment, making the whole experience a true survival story.
This time, the curiosity was there, but walking all the time payed off. Superspider girl was a bit disappointed - they didn't have her favourite cookies in a cafe (going to the cafe was a must-have; clearly only because they were tired; clearly my coffee addiction had noting to do with it; clearly). Mini-man was grumpy as mummy should be with him at all times, like the luggage you shouldn't leave unattended at the airports. He needs a grown up to raise his complaints to, to show his disapproval of things, and to hug when needed. Fair enough.
So when I was paying for their snacks and drinks, and for my coffee, the lady at the till looked at both of them, waiting for me at the table; then looked at me, and said: 'Good luck'...
Wishing well is always good; I should do that more often to others, it definitely makes a day more bearable. Every time:)