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Sunday, 25 October 2015

Respect and expect

While it was so much about me lately (I know...), the parenthood is still on the agenda.
I don't think it will ever be wiped off, truly.
Even though it does bring duties, and things to consider - while planning possible out and about for example - it is truly one of the most multi-layered, and colourful experiences a human being may have.

I sometimes wonder what have I been doing with all that time previously available, now focused on my Runner, and his older SuperSpider partner in crime.
Then again, I kind of manage to have some me-time, more than ever now, and to the detriment of others, now focused on the gang. But hey, you need to be selfish to live.
There's only one life.

I recently came up with this ideal 'raise your child in a nutshell' program.

And for me, it consists of three important steps:

Let go - I mentioned it several times already; leaving space to learn, make mistakes and grow out of them is crucial; obviously it is usually the second child, and third who gets these benefits - the first one is cocooned, cherished to the extreme, and needs to have much more strong will (stubbornness, for short) to let herself out and go.

Respect - now, that is part of the previous one, in a way, but it gets deeper; it goes down to waiting and explaining. Waiting for your little one to catchup, and letting him do it on his own, in his own pace. Explaining when necessary, yes, several times usually, not loosing patience (ekhm...), and talking.
Out of talking comes the love (as Amanda Price one said, main female character in the movie Lost in Austen; and I couldn't agree more).

Expect - that's the trickiest part. You put yourself in a position of the one who plans and leads the way. Now, not to turn yourself into an all-mighty goddess, despit and tyrant is just one of the threats here. To be understood, and to express your way clearly and firmly, that is the greatest challenge, for me at least.
Since I talk so much, I blur the image, and it is difficult to get any sense out of what I am actually trying to say. That applies to all, not only children, who - in fact - get to the core much quicker, not having so many assumptions and shortcuts created by previous observations in place. But it relates to respecting: if you're good there, you fly in leading.

It's as simple as that.

It's as difficult as one can imagine.

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