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Thursday, 19 June 2014


I am not promoting Taylor Swift's single here (although I think she could have ended up much worse with her transition from country to pop on this one). This is about me (so much about others).

I hate to be a trouble to anyone. Even when it is only their twisted perception of things, and I am not to be blamed. I guess there is this combination of modesty limiting my abilities, and the fact of being taught at school not to do too much (in other words, being too exceptional and creative meant being a trouble; I don't blame the schools I attended; it was the whole education system, and the fact that I was being told thousands of details which are completely useless in life, together with only few things that let me be a better person, and helped me later on).
Today I felt that way, when I was asking a headteacher whether my husband could come and see the exact place where Zosia had her accident. Earlier I wanted to take pictures, but they did it for me and gave me the prints which were quite dark, and you couldn't really see much. Both then and now, I  was afraid of who knows what to stand and say I am not ok with that. Why? It is my family here that is on stake, not some irrelevant stuff of a hysterical middle-aged woman (regardless of the fact I am one sometimes...). The headteacher seemed a little irritated, maybe only in my mind's eyes, I am not sure, but we set a meeting for tomorrow, as 'any parent can review the environment', she said.
While I am writing all this, I start to think I am over sensitive. Ha!
I have to say though both teachers and nurse in Zosia's class are extremely supportive, and understandable. They seem to see through incredibly well, and give advice on what to do to calm 5-year old strong willed and wonderful little girl, with hundreds of ideas per minute...;)

Lesson learnt: post-analysis helps to keep emotions in place when they blurr the image.

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